Here's DazBob....

Hello
my name is Darren, and I was married for 15 years..... I had been thinking about divorce for the last 3 years, but always putting my childrens happiness before mine....

I have come from a relationship that has just gone in different directions. I would leave the house at 7am, come home and take the kids to their clubs, get home late, then have to exercise as i was constantly told by my stbxw that i was fat. I couldn't smoke because the hassle wasn't worth it... so basicily I just didn't have a life, I had no friends of my own as the ones I had, weren't deemed good enough and could only really socialise when it suited her.

She recently started working part time and she began being more social in the evenings with her friends, leaving me at home with the children... Spending time with the children was never a problem, it was not having a life myself...

In March this year, after embaressing (spelling?) in front of her friends I decided enough was enough and that I was going to grow some "Cohannas" and leave....

I have been out of the house since then and am coming to accept things... The fact that she has started "casual" dating makes things easier... We are civil, for the sake of the 3 children, 13,9,6 and we discuss access, we have agreed the finances and now I believe all that remains is for me to file, yet she won't discuss it... so time will tell on that!

So I have blabbed, Sorry .... but now you know me

Welcome Daz

Tis awful when another person feels they have to control you.Although it is heart breaking to split up the family because of the kids you have to be able to have a life.Were not here long you have to enjoy it .As long as your kids come first you go out there and live am sure everything else will fall into place for you.Oh and you have already made alot of new friends on this site.

hi daz,

welcoem to wiki, and a big pat on the back for facing up to things and doing something about it.

The kids will be fine, you both sound like grown ups.

Go and find the life you deserve.

mish
xx

Thanks to you both....

I printed off all the forms this morning to familiarise myself with them. It has made me feel so guilty as far as the children are concerned... and trying to word the "Unreasonable Behaviour" so that I do not cause offence is proving difficult, but I'll get there....

Whilst i want to use my own words, are there any examples on here that I could read through and relate to them?

Daz

your situation is pretty similar to mine (drifting apart) - I also looked after the children while stbx worked shifts (emergency services), so I also couldn't do things, the friends that we had were ours, but now seem to be hers, I wasn't good enough for her friends, but she enjoyed the status and money that I provided etc.

Stbx and I are civil, though prepare yourself for a complete change of personality - coldness, hate, viciousness etc etc

Try and sort out the finances, etc as amicably as you can, because otherwise it's the lawyers that get the money and she/you/kids will end up with less (it's a good arguement to get her to agree)

take care

dd

Daz


I know lots of people on here have wrote what there gopnan use for UB reasons if you use the search forum at the top of this thread it should point you in the right direction if not write what you feel and us wiki peeps can help you word it if need be.