Hi there

I just wondered if there are any nice ladies out there that would like a nice new husband!

My main requirement is that you will have to actually love me - unlike the wife who's just gone and moved in with her new man that she's been having an affair with for 5 years. And she's also been telling other people for the previous 20 years that she didn't really love me.

I'm now wondering what it actually feels like to really be loved?

moderator's note - this post has been edited as it breached forum rules or etiquette

I often wonder the same thing. I wonder whether I am unlovable. My stbx treated me with such contempt and in the last few years he showed such a seething hatred towards me.

He was always drunk, crying into his morning brandy over his first wife who did actually have an affair and fled to America to escape him!

He also told everyone he never loved me. I felt humiliated, used and abused when I heard this as I could never marry someone I didn't love.

That's why I know I'll never marry again.

Coconut, sorry you're feeling so down. Things will get better and yes, there are lovely ladies around who will treat you fairly and love you unconditionally. I'm just hopeing there are men who will do the same!

It all takes time and I really do know what you're going through as I'm going through the same.

Take care of you,

oddsocks

(((Coconut))

There is no rush to get involved again, take a breath and discover yourself again and enjoy your own company, relax chill and in time you will feel when it is right to move on xxx

The last thing you need now is another wife xxx

Hi Coconut

I'm sure the right for you is out there somewhere but don't stress yourself about finding that person right now. Take time to love yourself first and discover who you are. It sounds like a cliche but it's true.

To get into another relationship too quickly may be a disaster and knock your self esteem backwards if it fails. Give it time. Life does get better.

Keep posting. You have so many friends here. Take care.xx

dear Coconut
its too early to find someone else, you need to rediscover yourself first.
Of course she says she didnt love you, people on here have had this discussion in the past, they have to say that to their partners so that they can convince themselves.
You know the truth and other people will not believe she has lived with you for 20 years without loving you - its being done to justify her actions otherwise she will realise how bad she is. She wont be convinving anyone.
Dont believe it, work on yourself and keep those negative thoughts away they are in your head only and need replacing with better ones.
When things were at their worst I bought a book on positive thinking and it really helped
take care
GF

Thanks for all your messages.

But in this case I'm quite sure she really didn't love me at all - but just saw our marriage as an escape route from her dysfunctional childhood!