A quick hello - I'm gonna need you!

Hi

If you both own the house you both have right of access. If you change the locks, she is entitled to break in if she really wants to. I am still in the marital home but at the suggestion of my solicitor, I have an agreement with the stbx that she lets me know before she comes round, we have had a couple of incidents, but it works well on the whole. If you make sure she has everything out of the house she wants/needs there is no excuse for her to come round.

All the best

S

Hi Forward welcome to wiki

Like others say your in the right place . you obviously (like yr name says)have made a start by looking forward. Im 2 and a half years into my divorce and wish i found this site in the begining so good start in the right direction for you!

As for changing locks . My sbex left and did not take a key .He then requested a key and my sols wrote to his sols and said it would be an invasion of privacy and if he wanted to come into house he would need to arrange it in advance.Never heard nothing since on the matter. so good luck!

Welcome. Don't be sorry. I felt that way initially but have gained strength i never knew I had!

Few things you could do:

* Get the house in your name asap if possible, then change the locks.
* Confront her about her behaviour and tell her you find it unacceptable.
* If she's going through personal stuff, get a lockbox or move it out of the house.
* put a lock on your bedroom door
* install a burglar alarm and "forget" to tell her the code.
* If she's taken items that aren't hers, contact the police.
* Suddenly decide to get a big dog
* Rig items so that you know when she's sneaked around, and then tell her that you've made steps to know when she's been there - tiny scraps of paper placed at the bottom of closed doors, a small hair in a drawer that will move when its contents are rifled through etc.
* box up any remaining possessions of hers and give them to her so she simply has no reason to return other than out of malice.
* Install some CCTV or get a small covert spy camera. These things can be quite cheap and can be resold on ebay when no longer required.

hey am new to this site too, going through something similar, my ex just lets himself in when he likes and have feeling he might be there in the day when im working! ever need an ear to bend... be nice to natter with those going through same

xxx

Welcome Izzy.

Also keep a log of suspected intrusions. Fortunately for me, I will own my house in sole name by the time my stbx wife moves out so the moment she's gone im taking a trip to the locksmith!

well im planning on the day he signs over the house to me and i take on the morgage that i will get locksmith out and get it done then before he gets chance to get to house! sounds horrible i know but thats how things have become! not fun is it when you have to be like this!?!?!

xx

I wouldn't start with the heavy guns, setting alarms etc just yet. Maybe she is sneaking back to avoid seeing/talking to you?

My ex came round once when I had the day off work and I dont know who was more surprised!

Told him v. firmly he should ring or text or email me to let me know if/when he was coming. He now rings the doorbell although he does still have a key.

If he abused this arrangement, then I would probably alter the burglar alarm.