Any thoughts?

Hello to everyone.....

Two daughters (14 and 11), mortgage, wife and daughter in family home

Since moving out last February I have continued to pay all bills and also an additional sum to cover food etc and also pocket money to the children. With having to maintain my own existance I am very poor - thanks Mum for putting me up! However I take my responsibilities very seriously and if there is something that I am legally expected to pay I would pay without hesitation be it fair or not.

I am obviously keen to sort out finances but my wife will not communicate with me. I understand that CSA would pursue 12% (?) of my gross salary in maintenance for the children - this is more than I currently pay but would I be expected to continue to pay for all the household bills and mortgage as well. If this is the case I think I would be bankrupt. There are no savings and no equity in the joint mortgage as well as other debts.

My wife was, and I presume still does, work 8 hours per week - both the girls normally do and can travel to school by themselves.

I would welcome any thoughts and advice - I have a solicitor but obviously advice from them is costly and I am just trying to get things a little clearer in my head. As nothing was happening I did get the solicitor to write to my wife saying I propose to petition her however inviting her to petition me as since she seems to be dragging her heals on everyting it would be a quicker route to a divorce.

All advice and experiences greatly welcomed before I go entirely grey!

Hello Mick

I dont know if wiki can help with the grey hair but i could be wrong

Csa rates for two children is 20% of your net income after ni and pension.

If you petition it does give some control with time scales but not much, are you quite sure this is the only route open have you considered counseling maybe relate i understand your wife isnt keen to talk but she can go alone to start with its worth thinking about.

Well done for supporting your children and keep up with that so many get into the divorce dare i say battle and children tend to loose out both emotionally and financially.

Stick with wiki peeps can help with answers to questions and support the latter often more important.

The 20% net income figure is the easily calculated one - there will also need to be a split of assets, possible spousal maintenance and all that stuff. But that has to be officially agreed in a Consent Order or ordered by the court.

Unless there's a possibility of getting back together, best to sort that out sooner rather than later - but whether you agree or go to court, you shouldn't be put in a position where you can't afford to support yourself. Sounds like you are being extremely generous at the moment - not necessarily a bad thing but you have to have a settlement that works long term for everyone.