Re-introducing Myself and I need some advice.

Afternoon All,

As some of you know my wife left me and my two boy's (13 & 15) very recently and without much notice. We were together 18 yrs.
The say we have been through the "grinder" is an under-statement.

My company have been so supportive and have provided me and the boy's with counselling which is an amazing gesture. I never thought I would be the sort of person who would use this help but it is so beneficial.

At my last session the counseller explained that in his opinion my wife is sufferring from a serious Mid-Life Crisis and has almost become teenage like in the way she is conducting herself. This is very true from what I can gather with my wife's antics. He explained that at some point the relationship is likely to "burn-off" and my wife will become aware of the consequences of her actions - something she is totally olblivious to at the moment. When this happens he explained that my wife is likely to want to return home, will be full of remorse and cause serious further emotional problems for me and the boy's.

I explained that I have cut-off all contact with my wife (as he instructed) which is helping me enormously and that I have noticed my wife is texting and e.mailing frantically although I am not responding.

Has anyone experienced the above? If so I would appreciate any advice on how you handled the situation.
Brunswick and Boy's.

hallo again Brunswick

I am glad you and your sons are getting constructive support.

I suppose its tricky as your wife is your next of kin and may need to contact you urgently.

perhaps she wants to discuss seeing the children - and although this may be upsetting, the children do have a right to see their mother.

I am not for a moment suggesting you welcome her back with open arms, but maybe some contact with the children would be beneficial to both.

It's your decision, not your counsellor's.

Good luck.

B&B's

I personally don't have a great similarity, but I can comment on the mails and texts - don't answer them, or if you do, just say the boy's are fine that's all - short and sweet.

Looks like she's starting to realise what she's done as your councellor said - let her stew, take your time, and do what's best for you and the boys in the long run......it may be that D will be the answer, but that's up to you.

many posts here recount the leaving partner coming back, being 'forgiven' for it all just to happen again further down the line - they get used to having their cake and eating it.

stay strong

dd

Hello Brunswick.
I am in a similar position although I've not sought the support you have. Contact is difficult as it seems to me a point scoring exercise and it's not something i have time for. I agree with dissapointed dad and any contact should be short and sweet even though that will be hard for you. The way I manage it, and it really pains me, is to let the children talk to their mum by telephone but try not to get into conversation with them about her.
Good luck. It's not easy and it is hard work.