Hello I thought its time I introduced myself

Dear Tony

welcome but sorry you found yourself here it all.

You sound such a strong person. well done for getting out to spend you remaining life (sorry horrid expression, not mean to offend) in peace doing the things you love.

i am sure you will find much support here, i have.

best wishes

SA09

Tony

All I can say is 'good on you!'

I hope you get to finish the projects you enjoy and that the separation does not get in the way

Steve

Hi tony. I cant see the point in JS. It seems so pointless. You could divorce if you want. Just leave a will. That will cover yr estate and so on. As for a sep deed, you can draw that up yrself and provided you both seek legal advice it will stand up.

But if you want to stay married then thats fine as well. I met someone once that said that there cancer defined them. In the same way my divorce defined me and made me what I am now.

I think its perhaps more important that you enjoy what life you have left and not worry about devorce and so on. Divorce will make what time you have left troublesome. And you cant waste a single day on whats not that important. For you, you have done the right thing. You have got out and your mum will look after you and ensure that what time you have is peiceful. C.

"your remaining life (sorry horrid expression , not mean to offend"

Hi SA09 - I prefer people to talk straight like you - concern was ok at first, but you can't have a decent conversation unless people are comfortable using words like life death and cancer. So no worries - I won't be offended.

Thanks and good to meet you
Tony

Hi Marshy
If we remain married and I die in a few years, my ex gets several thousand pounds a year widow's pension.

If we divorce, she loses her entitlement and gets nothing.

I just swapped texts with Ex, and she hasn't checked her email for a week and is going to progress the deed of sepration, so it might be inexpensive and work out ok.

I think we can nullify the disagreement over house valuation by agreeing that it will be half hers and half mine as a 'Tenancy in Common'. I'll include a clause saying I can charge her rent if she lives there for my half so that the legal entitlement is formalised, but I'd currently have no intention of actually charging her rent - I want her to be able to afford to live there so that it remains the central family base.


To



Hey, I see my ex has joined this forum too!!

Tony

You arent the first or last to have a partner on line together - it can work if people are reasonable. The only thing I would say to you (and I bet youve thought of it) is inheritance - it will be important for you both to talk about that given you have the three children.

My dad was very good with that stuff and taught me the value of having those sort of frank discussions particularly if you arent staying together. Your wife may well feel she never wants to get married again - we all go there, but theres a few people on here who are on their second and third divorces and will tell you that it has a massive affect on your assets and something you dont always see coming.

Rasher