New here & don't know what to do

Hi everyone,
I'm new here found this the other day and thought I'd join - think I'm going to need your advice...

I'm 24, married for nearly 3 years, with a 3 year old son. My husband is nearly 26. For a long time I haven't been happy with him and I think that I'm am going to take the plunge and leave.

What do I do first, I sent the CAB an email yesterday and I've been researching the benefits etc that I will be entitled to, I've also had a look online to try and find a house to rent. But how do I work it, do I find somewhere to live and then apply for benefits, I don't have much money of my own put aside and I haven't work since I had my son, so I will be needing everything that I can get.

Other than the CAB who should I talk to, should I have a chat with a solicitor?

Thanks
CR

Hallo and welcome to Wikivorce

Why do you need to leave?

Have you talked about how you feel with your husband?

Often the partner who is left is completely blindsided and shocked by what happens and it can make things quite difficult.

Your husband will be expected to contribute to your son's maintenance and to yours too, at least until you are able to work.

Hi,

I want to leave because I'm so unhappy, we never talk anymore and I don't think we have anything in common anymore. The only time we do talk is to argue, about our son, his work, my hobbies, the dogs, the neighbours, our friends etc, etc. The only thing is we never do argue as such, it's more me trying to tell him how I feel then he turns it round so I end up feeling bad...

I love him, I really do but I just don't want to be around him anymore. Everything that goes on between us makes me angry and turns me into someone I don't like being.

My mum and dad never got on for along time and until they split noone was happy in our family (after they split everything was very hard but we were much happier) and I'm terrified of my son living like that.

I haven't told him that I am thinking of leaving in so many words - I'm not quite sure how to start the conversation, and I'm terrified of him telling my to just pack and go then when I have nowhere to go.

Thanks
CR

So you love him, you must have had things in common with him at one time, sometimes our frustrations cause us to peck away at relationships untill one or the other decides they can stand no more and wastes the chance to reconcile the problems. If you truely love him, tell him, sit him down and try to explain your feelings, if you can't talk to him, write your feelings down, make sure he reads them, if he truely loves you he will acknowledge there is a problem and should repond accordingly. Don't try blaming each another, try to work on the causes. Leaving someone you love turns into a soul destoying journey, What you may think is easy now, may be desperately emotional later, what a shame if you could sort things out now and return to the loving couple you used to be. If you can make him realise how unhappy you are and how you miss his companionship, if he loves you, he will respond. This only my opinion for what it's worth, but I think you owe it to yourself and your relationship before you embark on something that may leave you no way back.
I really hope you can work things out.
Heartfelt sympathy. Mickwil.

Even if he tells you to pack up and go, you don't have to!

I had similar problems in my relationship, husband would never discuss anything. Eventually I withdrew and stopped trying to talk to him and his response was to find someone else and move out, so that solved the situation, though not the best way perhaps!

I think you need to bite the bullet and tell him how you feel. he may not understand how desperate you feel. Perhaps if you both went to counselling to help learn to communicate better it might help the situation, even if ultimately you decide you want to end it.

Hi there,
I would take the advice of others, sit him down & talk, talk, talk. I would also suggest counselling, even f you have to go yourself, like I did. If there is love still there it's worth a fight.
Sadly I thought just the same as you did. My Husbands controlling behaviour and my inability to stand up for myself left me feeling alone in my marriage. I sought friendship with another man (emotional affair), and my Husband found out. It has since caused so much heartache. We are now separating after 12 months of trying to sort it out. If I could turn the clock back I would. I would have sat him down and told him I was unhappy. I never felt I could have done that because everything I ever did was wrong or my fault, but now I have the strength to tell him anything, and wish I had used it then instead of ruining it further.
What Im trying to say is , look for your inner strength to sort this out. Love is such a wonderful thing. If you both love each other give it all you have before you decide it's the end.
I wake up each morning with a horrible ache in my heart, and wish I had done things differently, and at the moment all I see is grey days until it's over.

Thanks for all your advise and support

We spoke last night and it all seems to boil down to him putting his job first (he always has) and me devoting more and more time to my hobby. We both care about each other but I don't think that there is anyway we can get back to how we used to be . He has ruled out counselling and I don't really 'do' the whole talking thing...

We both agreed that maybe it would be best for us to try being apart for a time, which would mean me leaving as the house comes with his job and this morning the scilent treatment had increased so I don't know if I stand being here for long. I've been online looking for houses in the area that I could rent but I have no idea where to go from here... I email the CAB last week but haven't had any information back from them, our local bureau is open tomorrow so should I go in?

Thanks CR