new here - hi

Hi everyone

I'm new here, very green behind the ears where divorce is concerned. I've been married nearly 13 years, have a child of 4 and have left my husband because he's made my life a misery for years, i've tried everything to make things work and in doing so have driven myself, and he's driven me, into a horrible pit. There really was no hope for me, an educated, sensible person who put everyone else before myself. I've fought and fought to try to find happiness with him but every time he's hurt me and i've got over it, he's done it again - it's like he got pleasure out of it.

I had nowhere to go if i left him, didn't earn enough to support myself and my child - then when i thought all was lost, i met a lovely man who helped me make sense of my misery, it turned out he was in the same situation as me, stayed for the sake of it and thought his life was mapped out to be miserable for ever more.

I've now left that horrible husband, have taken my child with me and have moved in with this lovely man - and oh am i in the wrong - i'm being divorced for adultery, all because i didn't want to hurt my husband's feelings any more than i had by divorcing him for unreasonable behaviour. He's playing VICTIM and still driving me into the same pit he always did.

Well that's the short version.

So glad i've escaped.

Welcome to Wikivorce

Well you don't have to be a victim if you don't want to. Indeed you have got out of a miserable relationship, found another partner and have your child. Sounds good to me.

Who divorces who and why is irrelevant in sorting everything out, it has no bearing on the financial settlement.

If you are looking for others to validate your experience or for your ex to see the light and value you, it might be a long wait.

Instead you can use what you've learned through your marriage to improve your future.

Good luck.