I'm a newbie

Hi Loopy

Does sound like a difficult situation. I have to say I am not sure about parental responsibility for adopted children. I would expect logically if you adopted them jointly then you have joint responsibility....but the law is not always logical!

In my opinion trying to get a court order to stop him drinking when he has them would be not a lot of use as it would be very hard to enforce. Perhaps a better option may be to try and limit the places he takes the children to so that he shouldn't take them to pubs? Even that is not watertight as alcholol can be purchased in so many places now!

If things go to court then the social workers report will be significant. The court will judge based on the children's interests, not your husbands.

One other thing you need to think of is yourself, and making sure you have time to yourself or you run the risk of wearing yourself out. Will you have some respite from the children?

S

I don't have a lot of support, all my family have moved away and over the years all my friendships fizzled out.

I've just had a long cry, I haven't done that for a very long time. Seems like the tip of the iceberg and i just don't see how i'm ever going to feel better than I do now. I did not adopt two children to raise them as a single mum on benefits and feel like i've cheated them - they are such good kids I feel so sorry for them.

Once adopted, everything legally is as they were birth children.

My husband knocked on the door earlier. He said, its not fair I keep doing this to you I think you should move on with your life.

Everything in me wants to beg him to come back but I know I can't. I have to learn I can't save him and I deserve more than I have had.


It's just so hard.

Dear loopy,

i am sorry you find yourself here.

I am off to bed now but just wanted to send you a ((((((((((hug))))))))))))). You have made the first step in accepting you are worth more than you have been getting - I have had to do that to. But it doesnt make it any easier, does it, not when you care for them.

Take care of yourself