Hi - never thought i'd be somewhere like here!

Hi

I found this forum looking for help. Can't ask friends or family as I feel so stupid!

Wife says she doesn't love me. We have agreed that we should seperate and I have been looking at finding somewhere where I can live and have my kids (1girl agerd 10 and a boy aged7) with me as much as I can.

I have no idea how I am going to afford to run two hoses - it wsa bad enough with just one. My wife doesn't work but I earn a reasonable salary.

I am scared of loosing my kids, of being alone, of financial problems, and so my emotions are like a rollercoaster.

I never wanted to leave, but I don't really have a choice, and I love my kids.

I suppose it is good to see on this forum that others have the same, and often worse situations, but most days I feel lost.

On a practical level - how do we agree what money I should give my wife? SHould I just keep paying hte bills?

Anyway...

Thanks

Hello Joe, didnt want to read and run. It is quite daunting posting on a site like this for the first time. Im fairly new to it myself. Its all pretty scary stuff this separating lark especially working out all the finances. I do feel for you. Theres loads of us on here all going through it so you are amongst friends who can offer an ear and maybe some advice. xx

Joe,

All our circs and how we got here may be different, but the confusion and pain are the same...bewildering and hurting. Take your time to adjust (if yo can) before hurtling into other arenas of consideration. This is not the best time to being considering other than the immediate and mean time. Take care.

Elle x

Hi Joe

welcome to wiki.None of us thought we would be on this site.As none of us want to be going through seperation and divorce.Its a good site to find and their will be lots of support and advise here for you.

I really feel for you my husband told me after 18 years of a good and happy marriage that he didn,t love me but i also found out he was having an affair.Like you i was shocked ,upset,scared about being on my own,how to manage financially e.t.c .That was 2 1/2 years ago and i can say it does get easier in many ways although i wont lie their is alot of ups and downs.

You will always be your kids dad no matter what.My advise is to try to be amicable as possible with your wife always putting the kids first and life will be easier for you.

As for affording two homes for advise on that we would need more information .There is alot more experience people on here that can help you on that one.

Good luck x

Hi Joe

i'm sorry to hear about your troubles.

i'm a divorce lawyer and can give you some advice. But first you'd need to give me more details.

Go to www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Divorce-Forum/...G-IN-THIS-FORUM.html and post all the info required.

Chat soon.

Sam

Joe,

Take your time, this is difficult for you. Post the info sam suggest...its a start...i the meantime be good to yourself as this is a hard path you are seting outon...somewill help/stay with you...I wish you well.

Elle x

i am in a very similar position i believe joe, i only left the house recently and yes, it is tough to finance 2 houses when wife does not work. i have found out i simply can't afford to pay for everything and have managed to work out a plan of sorts with ex, without any CSA involvement.
i am paying the mortgage and giving her money on top of that as and when i can afford it.
if she is similar in situation to my ex she might be able to claim income support, fee school meals, council tax benefit, extra child tax credit etc.
as far as i am concerned, based on my laymans knowledge or lack of it! she will not be penniless and you can't carry the whole burden yourself, you have a right to a life too.
all the very best mate, chris