Deceit over years just found out

In my experience the police are stupid and only go for what can hold up in court, it seems nobody believes a woman can be violent!! I wouldn't trust them at all to protect me!!!!

Believe me, the system is not always on the woman's side - I can vouch for that! I have been subject to arrest, having no history of violence at all, following an incident with my stbx when I caught him with his pants down and he hit me and pushed a car door in to my pregnant stomach. Somehow, I was the one to blame for catching him out! Fortunately, no further action was taken by the Police but I also had an injunction taken out on me and the divorce petition he is about to file mentions my frequent bouts of violence and my mental instability. All rubbish of course. I have come across several women on here with very similar experiences.

What the system does seem to favour, I would hazard a guess, is the person who is clever enough to be able to manipulate a situation to their advantage - beware of those who are able to wear a suit and tie and lie convincingly!!! Evidence is your only friend, I'm afraid. Start a diary, password it on the computer with a password of random numbers/letters so she will never guess. Give the file a name along the lines of any other files you have. Set up a new e-mail address and use that for correspondence with your solicitor. I forward my diary to my e-mail every now and again as back up. Keep detailed accounts of anything that happens between you. Keep all letters, e-mails, texts. Be careful what you say to her and be particularly careful what you write - polite, courteous, decent, no swearing. Speak with local domestic violence advisors (should be someone within the police and probably also local council) and ask them for advice - what do you need to do? How do you prove that she is the aggressor and not you?

I am afraid I am someone who spent nearly 3 months out of the 6 I have been separated assumign that somehow my husband would see sense. He never has. I made decisions in the early stages that I have lived to regret. I had friends around me shouting at me that it wasnt going to work out, I ignored them. I have lost valuable 'evidence' of his behaviour as a result. So I am a cynic - and if there is any hope of saving your relationship, you should start there as the emotional and financial cost of divorce shouldnt be underestimated. But think about protecting yourself at the same time.

My biggest problem is I would do anything for my son and would put up with a lot lot more to make sure he had a good roof over his head and if that means me living in a grotty bedsit for the next ten years then so be it !!

It was once my unfortunate experience to be told by the police had I called the them first, it would have been my wife who was arrested, as it was obvious who the injured party was.
regards.