Hello

I've been divorced for 6 years, mine was not complicated, no property, no assets just two kids, now aged 22 and 18, and a dog to share and my ex husband was violent so after a brief denial by him and a bit of fuss, divorce thru on April fools day! That was me sorted in 2003.

However, my partner, has 4 children, a very UN civil ex wife, and he has contemplated a DIY divorce. I dont think this is a good idea, as ex is living in the matrimonial home for which he is paying the full mortgage and endowment. He wants to give the house to wife in divorce to ensure kids are catered for, they are 18,17, 13 and 7. He would like to keep his pension, if she keeps house and all contents. There have been ridiculous problems over the last 2 years with ex witholding contact and damaging our property etc. We've come here to see what other ppl have experience and try to unravel all the baffling questions such as can the ex have a claim on property me and my partner have gained together since he left? Can she stop the kids coming to my house, where we both live? Although he pays out £1,200 in mortgage, endowment and kids moneys per month, can she say she doesnt actually get maintenance as such and make him pay more? On the maintenance calculator it says he should be paying £99 pw. It makes my brain ache! I am hoping to show him that in his instance a DIY divorce is probably not wise.

hallo and welcome to Wikivorce

DIY divorce is ok if both parties agree. But if they don't then the people who win are the solicitors.

Perhaps your partner's wife could be made to understand that whatever her settlement she will have to pay her legal fees out of it.

As for the children, all but the 7 year old are old enough to decide whether they want to visit their father's new house or not. She cannot stop contact with their father unless she can prove he is a threat to them.

Somewhere on this site there is a formula for info about each couple's income and expenditure, length of marriage etc which can be used to give a rough idea of how the assets might be divided.

The divorce itself isn't too difficult for him to do himself. The form D8and guides D183, D184 and D185 are available to download free from HMCourts website. Very rarely is a divorce defended when a solicitor might be a good idea. The sticking point is the finances and it can be a false economy not to consult a lawyer to at least find out where you stand, what options there are and draft a final order which once signed off by the court prevents any future financial claims being made against each other.

Mum can't stop the children coming to your house, but care needs to be taken to not let the issue be damaging to their long term relations. The calculator is good at crunching numbers but there are a lot of different factors which don't take into account. Your partner should ensure the method of payment for maintenance allows him to reference it as maintenance.

Bandana

I'm with Fiona on this one as far as the divorce goes - although I would say that with an awkward ex it is probably best to self rep on Finances for the easy bit at the beginning - perhaps with ad hoc support from a solicitor (and wiki support of course). Then he can save his pennies if they can't settle and he needs to get to Final Hearing with a barrister. Too often peeps start with lawyers then run out of cash just when they could really use a good legal brain .

As far as the questions about house, pension and maintenance go, wikipeeps can help with that. The division depends on a number of factors set out in Section 25 of the 1973 Matrimonial Causes Act.
ALL assets go into a pot for division - and that may include his share of your joint property if he has a financial interest in it - ie is on the deeds. However you can't be forced to sell property jointly owned by a third party. He should be paying 25% of net income for the children - assuming the youngest 3 are all in f/t education.

If you look at the top of the property and mortgages section, there is a post there called "please read before you post" - this tells you what wikipeeps need to know in order to guesstimate a fair settlement if you would like us to have a go.

Hadenoughnow

Hi i am Eliza from New jersey. i am a newbie to this forum.i found this forum a true help when someone is going through his/her divorce.That's the reason i joined it
for any info regarding legal help in divorce click the link below
Eliza
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