wife asked me to leave

Hello everybody,
im really in need of some practical advice, i love my wife dearly, and im sure despite her telling me she hates me , and doesnt love me, that she cant has lost all of her feelings for me, mind you she has asked me to leave the family home, i am happy to do this,to give her some space, but i have heard that if you leave the family home that you have less of a claim on the property if it all ends in divorce.
what dya reckon

Hi Geoff, sorry to hear that things are not good. We all say rotten things in anger so dont take her " I hate you" comment to heart too much. It may be that she wants you to move out, but its your choice really, you dont have to go. If she wants out that much she'll leave. I did. None of the advice ive had so far has led me to believe ill do worse out of the settlement because of it. Are there children involved? Id go to CAB before you do anything, get some legal advice. Just remember she cant force you out. x

Hi Geoff,

Sorry to hear of the stuff your going through at the moment. Its a hard time for you and you have some very difficult decisions to make

However, leaving the marital home will not mean you have less of a claim on the property as such as you are doing it to resolve a difficult situation. I think the only time it may go against you is if you leave for a prolonged period (over 2 years) before the divorce is petitioned.

It maybe the most sensible thing to do at this moment and may help you both resolve your differences, however try and keep communication with your wife open ... try counseling / mediation ... the only other thing I can say about it is try not to let the situation fester .. if at the end of the day nothing is working then you may both need to face up to divorce and the (as above) more you can both agree on the better for you both financially in the long run.

Take care and if you ever fancy a chat pop into the chat room I'm usually about as well as loads of other helpful people that know about this kind of thing.

Redfan

Thanks for that information, its hard at the moment, i have no one to talk to about the things that are going on, so thanks for replying, i really appreciate it.
This site may be a great help and comfort to me

Hi Geoff and welcome

I'm sorry you're in such a tough situation but, as you have found already, there are a lot of people here going though the same thing. If you make the decision to leave, keep talking to us. We will support you along the way.

Although I think it's great that you will make such sacrificees to try to resolve the issues, don't forget your own needs in the process. If your wife is adamant that she feels nothing, you not being around makes it easier for her to 'move on' without you! So take care to make the decisions that you can live with in the long term. It's a very sad thing when love leaves a relationship but there is no point in banging your head against a brick wall forever. How long have you been together?

Shezi

I'm astounded at how everyone is being, thanks, its nice to know you can get feed back from someone, i really dont want to leave, because im sure that if i do, that will be it,and i really love her and my family, there has been no affairs or anything like that, certainly not on my side, i love her too much, and i dont think that my wife has, but its just a breakdown, im not the best husband, ive always thought is was ok to just be the provider, and i used to work in excess of 70hrs a week, so we never wanted for anything, but, i was wrong, and i know that now. but i cant see away out of this, im not the most romantic, or the best dad, but i love them all, and i never shout,or lash out, and i never go out with my friends, because of working all the hrs, i felt i should spend what free time i had with my family.
Anyway, i was wrong, and now im paying the price, but thanks for the advice, its been very useful

Redfan wrote:
However, leaving the marital home will not mean you have less of a claim on the property as such as you are doing it to resolve a difficult situation. I think the only time it may go against you is if you leave for a prolonged period (over 2 years) before the divorce is petitioned.

I am not sure where the 2 year period came from, but it is not legally correct to say that any claim you have over your home diminishes after that time.

Amanda