Is anyone else this hateful?

I don't have any friends because I focused my life on making one person happy and it didn't leave much time to maintain friendships. I had only one friend who stuck by me, but she has since moved on and doesn't even acknowledge me when we pass in public. I have a mother who is mean to me because I was my dad's favorite and I have 2 daughters with whom I do not feel comfortable sharing problems with their father. How can I go see them and not explain my sadness? And, That's it. There is no one else. Today was our 28th anniversary. I begged him to take the day off work (he works 7 days a week and I am lonely) but he just said he couldn't get it and left me here crying. I can't face another day of this. I don't want to see the sun shine or hear people laugh. Nothingness has such an appeal compared to this life of pain, disappointments and endless empty days. Does anyone have the answer ? Does anyone out there know how to dig out of this pit? I used to dance in the rain and sing with the birds. The wind held hope of things yet to be and memories of things past. I could take a deep breath and feel life within me. Now I only take in air to sustain life. I curse the birds for singing while I die slowly inside. And the rain drowns the meaning of my tears.

Just hang in there and believe me the pain will lessen. You are not alone in the darkness and the isolation that you feel. I know you think that no one knows the utter desolation and desperation that you feel but trust me when I tell you that I have been where you are and the pain feels physical but one day and for who knows what reason the sun does shine again & you will believe you can get through this. Take life one day at a time, shout scream and bawl if you need to, do whatever you need to do to get through til tomorrow & don't let this man take anymore from you than he already has.
Hugs and kisses

All I can say is don't give up, you should try and talk to someone and just let it all out, like yr GP or a counsellar. You must not bottle it all up inside, it's like poison and it will slowly kill you.

It is time to let go of the pain in your heart and to never look back, what helps sometimes is to write down how u feel and then simply throw it away. You have to start picking yourself and begin the very slow process of healing yourself.

I have been through the cycle of love and hate, in my heart a part of it still loves my stbx but I know I have to let go of what was most dearest to me. My stbx made my mind up about what I was going to do, and I will have to live with my decision but I won't regret it, as I chose to live again.

I know you say you don't have many friends but what is stopping you from getting new friends, start socializing, start doing new things or hobbies that you have not done for a long time. Stop thinking about the stbx and start thinking about you.

At the end of the day you matter

Thank you so much for offering your strength and wisdom. I am better day by day. I feel......at peace. The anger is passing although it does come in waves when someone asks about us. Thank you again for your wonderful, caring heart it really does help to know you are not alone in all of the emotions you go through. I hope all works out for you !

Thank you for the help. I really does help to know I am not all alone feeling such anger then sadness it really is all over the place! You haved helped just by reassuring me that it is normal. and letting me feel as though I am worth something. Thank you so much. I am getting there!