Children meeting the new partner

Hi , ive been separated for 2 years now. I'd been with my husband for 15 years. I suffered mental abuse and he cheated on me. I thought i was going insane. I loved this man and trusted him. We have a daughter who is 8. Since we have been split up he has tried many times to come back but hes hurt me too much. He took my daughter to meet his new partner, it wasnt arranged with me, but we need to move on. when she came home the day after, she told me this woman had bathed her without my husband present. I asked him about this, he said it was fine.. IT IS NOT FINE i do not know this woman and i dont want her bathing my child. This is private. I asked if i could meet her, to put my mind at rest, you can imagine being a parent how this makes you feel. I was told no and i am unreasonable asking to meet her. I dont see it this way, im protecting my child. Im sure the lady is ok but i know nothing about her, and my husband has hid this from me for over a year while he was trying to "try again with our marriage". Am i over reacting. I want him to have contact, its in my daughters best interests to see both parents.

advice please...thank you

Good morning Louise

Sounds like your ex is a control freak. Even though he was with someone else he wanted you back. He always will want you back. But alot of men cannot cope with having a female somewhere in their lives and so he has kept her in the background.

Now it is clear to him that you will not take him back he might as well introduce g/f to you. Thats how his mind is thinking.

As regards bathing an 8 year old. I have daughters. When they were eight they bathed themselves. I ran the water and left clean towels out, but I did not bath them and I am sure as eggs are eggs no other women (or man) would ever be allowed any of my children naked!

Don't let that control freak of a hubby continue his mind games.

Have a lovely weekend - weather meant to be great - fingers crossed x

Hi Joanna,
thank you for replying, your words are very reassuring, i thought i was going mad.

You are correct about him being a control freak, he has done that throughout our marriage and has put me through hell in the process, of course it was all my fault according to him. I've been shouted at endlessly while my daughter was around he has threatened me in front of my daughter. This is going back to when we were together and one of the reasons we are no longer together, plus a female "friend" if you know what i mean (not the same one as now though). I feel very cheated, plus all this what has happened recently.

You are correct to say he cannot handle our separation, he has been making attempts to come back over the last few weeks, i'm sure his g/f does not know about this. This also kicked off when i told him i'd been on a few date since Christmas. Only dates nothing else.

I don't bath my daughter either, as you say you run the water and let them get on with it, she stopped in the room with her.

I think he doesnt want me to see his new g/f as i may tell her what hes been doing behind her back. I wont though, she's welcome to him, poor woman.

All my friends tell me he plays mind games with me too.

Thank you
Have a good weekend, hope you have something lovely planned. I'm going into town with friends for a drink and avoiding men, ha, ha. LOL