Hi , I,m definately a forum member now !

,Hi , Ive buzzed this forum once or twice over the last few months while I wasnt sure what was happening , But things have deteriorated and I think its time to bite the bullet , be a man and start getting a divorce - wow cant believe Ive just said that.

Basically I ve dedicated myself to my wife and family for the last 18 years , never missing one single day with them but the kids are growing 13 & 16 and the missus thinks theres nothing left for us now they dont need us so much , She spends more and more time with her mates out the house and organises less and less with us two , Ive tried to organise stuff / holidays for me & her etc - but she,s not really interested - her best mates divorced and another best mate separated and she wants to be with them - It guts me I,m broken hearted , Ive tried to talk to her about it and she says she wants to be together , and when I left for a few days " like you do " she phoned and wanted me back , but theres no change she,s still out with her mates and I feel second best , I,m also quite angry about it - which dosent help.
Anyhoooo its been six months now - and I dont want it to be another six .
I imagine Its gonna be tough .
Next stop the finance forum section .....

Its sad when marriages go horribly wrong and families split up because of one person. I know this is not always the case when its mutual but its bad nonetheless.

After 18 months of not knowing what was going on property, I decided to divorce my husband after 22 years of marriage and I'm still suffering now but I'm going ahead with my divorce, I just need some peace in my life.

He does have contact with myself and our daughter but as time goes on, he seems to be getting on with his life, perhaps I should do the same.

Yes the idea of some peace at some future date is a nice one .
heres hoping,

Hello Lionel,

I am sorry to hear about your situation Have you considered councilling? It may be a good sign that she wanted you to come back when you left. I understand the need for peace though as that is what I am looking for myself. And I can see me getting it in the future. Good luck

Hi lionel, it can't be an easy decision to make. After so many years it's difficult to see where you start and she ends. I can understand what it's like when you get pushed to one side when her "friends" are involved. Like they "the grass is always greener on the other side". You become the other person in her life, the person thats at home when they get in, that keeps them warm in bed at night.
It's not worth getting angry about it, as difficult as that may sound, it will only make you sick. What you need to try and do is to take a long time to think about what you want. Are you together for the kids? Is there something that you feel is worth saving? It might be worth sitting down with her, without her friends, or getting into an argument, and asking her what she wants. Tell her how you feel.
For the time being think about you, look after yourself. Like many others will tell you on this site, take baby steps.
Were all here to help.
CK