Hi Help and advice needed

Evening all,
I was married for 14 years with 2 children 6 and 5, i work offshore and have just found out my wife has left the marital home taking good with her, she has also sold the jointly owned caravan that we had. she is not answering her phone, and has left a message via her brother that she will call when i get back from offshore, she must have her own bank account as the caravan company paid he a cheque,
i have tried to contact her via her mother with no luck, i have no idea where she has taken my kids or moved to.I have put a hold on our joint bank account, which leaves me short as i will have no money until i speak to her and get her to agree to hand over her bank card.
she has left myself in a financial hole, with an overdraft of over £4k and a loan of £32k, not sure where to turn or what to do, she has the car and not sure what else.
i am hoping that the girls can stay with me when i am home as i work month on month off.
i do not get back to the UK to sort the mess out till friday evening, anybody have any ideas then please help, as i do not know where to turn or what to expect do.

thanks

Minty

Hi Minty,

I have just came across your post and hope that you are home and "things" are being "sorted out".

Have you arranged to have your salary put into another account whilst you await discovery of your wifes intentions?

Elle x

Elle, i froze the account when i was offshore, on the saturday of getting home i opened a new account, and my dad dumped money in, so i could go and get essentials, fridge freezer etc, she has seen her solicitor and said the truth as she wants a quick divorce so she has admitted adultry.
i have been returning mail that comes to the house in her name and putting her new address on it. so she is going to get a few shocks of her own soon neough, i have enough worries and concerns financially with all the joint debt,
My girls are staying every night whilst home, it is there choice, they are going to go back to mum's saturday so i can get stuff done.i am cooking there tea after school washing clothes, so i think i may get half the child allowance,
i have also informed the local council tax office where she is staying and that she has her partner there. as i can get a reduction on my council tax with both being single and working away, i have had to be ruthless that way as i have nothing and she has my life in her new house with her new man. so ihave to keep the house as normall for the girls so they can be normal.
it's tough, i am upset i am not sleeping and i am very stressed, i have elarnt that friends and family and people who know of me are very understanding and helpfull, it i sonly a matter of time that teh house of cards she has built with her new man comes tumbling down, she even got sky installed whilst i am cancelling sky. she is not on this level, and of a different planet,
annoyed as she forgets to give me basic things for teh girls, like school shoes there book bags, she is late picking them up ( she has my car)
Her new fella works away and for the last week has been etxting me mundane couply things like whats on tv saying night night too me,i now have to go to teh added costs of replacing all the locks on the house, so if i am away she cannot get in and move in. leaving me with even less.
my girls come first and i am being nice and winning, she has backed a scorpio into a corner and i am fighting, i am playing fair being nice not shouting screaming and abusive which she still has been to me.wish there was a support group that i could to for coffee and a chat and find out others thoughts
any thanks all for listening i have not seen a solicitor as of yet as it would be £57 i could spend on food. so waiting to get her letter.

Minty,

There is a lot of support, knowledge and experience to be gained from wikivorce...I am glad to hear that you have "things" in order...take care,

Elle x

I am worried that when all her bills start arriveing she will look at my house and think free rent and move back in, not much i can do as it i sjoint mortgage not that she contributed to the wage but bought my girls up. it would mean back to square 1 for me.


Andy

Andy,

You both have a responsibility re any children, thus any relevant expenditure may need accounting. Yes I do believe that many exes will expect the ridiculous accounted as need ...however I hope you do not need visit this.Good luck and keep us posted

Elle x