Another new one

Hello all

I thought I would add a quick intro as I have spent many hours reading through old threads and posts, some really good advice on here

My Story

Married 13 years, together 5 years before that, 2 kids aged 11 and 8.

The marriage breakdown has been initiated by me, I felt it is better for us to part now and stay friends before we end up hating each other and ruining a chance of being able to work together in our new lives as far as sharing the kids goes etc.

Although it was a big shock to my STBX and I still think she does not want us to end, we seem to be doing really well in agreeing to how we will get divorced ( me under UB to her as she will not divorce me) and we have agreed finances in principle and the 50/50 split of the kids.

It seems ridiculous to say it but we are getting on much better now it is all out in the open but the hardest part is yet to come....telling the kids.

I am gong to the solicitor next week to start the ball rolling so just a couple of questions that are at the back of my mind..

If I use a solicitor, does my SBTX have to also? as she doesn't really want to but I think for both our sakes we need to make sure things are done properly.

If we are both in agreement about finances and the house and the split of the kids, could the solicitors interfere with that and change it?

thanks in advance

hi there and well done for keeping things so amicable between the two of you. if you have already agreed so much together and its all out in the open, why not try using the divorce service through wiki, it would save money, time and anguish i am sure!

like you i have split up with my partner (husband in my case) and we are trying to keep things as open and friendly as we can. he now has his own place, we have told the kids (that bit was awful but i have to say so far they have settled really well and they are 4, 6 and 9) and when we get around to divorcing we intend to use a service like the one on here rather than pay solicitors money to do the same thing we can do ourselves.

good luck - i am not naive enough to think i have things all sorted, i have seen that this is one big rollercoaster journey but it seems like if you can agree as much as possible then its fairly straightforward.

pink x

Thanks Pink

I think the main concern is that for peace of mind I want to make sure that the finances side of things are tied up legally so that neither of us have the worry of missing something important that could come back to bite us at a later date.

The other reason is that i would not like to ever get accused by my STBX's family or friends of giving her a rough deal financially

you can use the Wiki calculator to have an idea of what would be fair.

When you get divorced the judge will want to ensure that childcare arrangements and finances are sensible before they agree to allowing the divorce to be finalised.

Your wife could always have a free half hour consultation with a solicitor which offers this service (they often advertise in local papers).