My Situation.

Dear Friends,

Thanks for taking some time to take a peek at a slice of my life. I had been married for 14 years, 3 lovely children and become successful....(with all the headaches and regrets that it brings with it).
8 months ago, my wife told me over a bottle of wine that she didn't love me and she wanted a divorce. 2007 was a very very bad year for me from an emotional point of view, I lost my Dad to a long struggle with Cancer, my mum was also diagnosed and I had been made redundant. I was devistated, I knew things weren't great but this put things into another another arena! After a week of feeling like I had been hit with a hammer, I thought it would be best for me to move out of the house....I still felt so strongly for my wife....this was tough for me with regards to my kids, even though I had spent so much time away from them with business.
I managed to share a house with a guy would had also split with his girlfriend and was looking for a lodger (thank God I had a house mate, those few weeks were the lowest points of my life).
My wife had a solicitor draft a letter with her intent but a divorce wasn't actually filed, she said that she wouldn't forgive herself, if she hadn't tried with Relate.....so we went for 10 session, which were pretty awful from my side, she did however feel that the sessions were helping her.
I spent more time having the kids and quality time with them, really helped me.
It's really weird because as time has elapsed, my feeling for her had changed...."maybe it's the hurt or just that I had given up".
About 6 weeks ago, I told her that I wanted to move on (no one else involved), just that I felt that I didn't love her her any more. In a complete turnaround, she begged me to get back together! I thought about the pro's and cons for the short term and the long term and I don't want to be with her anymore...especially just for the kids!
I have a balance in my work life for the first time in many years.....which has helped me to smile again!
I realise that the tought time is about to start as she is determined NOT to give me a Divorce.
My reasoning for coming onto the site is to see if anyone can assist in a little experience that may be similar.
She feels that things will remain the same until the 2 years when I left has elapsed, in the meantime....she will live in the family home, my normal expenditure will remain the same, I shall have the costs of my new home and the kids will remain at Private School!
I realise that a Solicitor is the obvious route for a clearer perspective.....I just wondered if any of you could shed any advise.
Thanks for your time,
Warren. x

Hi,
Not sure if I can give you any advice but will explain my situation,maybe give you a few pointers.
My stbx filed for divorce 6 months ago,after 2 court hearings we
still have not reached an agreement over the childrens arrangements.Her priorities remain work,new partner then children.Stbx has lied,made serious allegations against me which have resulted in court granting her non-molestation,occupation and residency orders.I have reasonable contact with the children but want more so am now in process of instructing my solicitor.
I too moved out.With a friend who is coming up to 2 years seperation.He has reasonable contact with his children and gets on ok with his ex.He is trying for the cheapest divorce,think he has it down to £500.
My situation has turned vicious,I dont communicate with stbx,I cant even look at her,I feel that I will never forgive her for what she has said and done.My kids are my life now,trying to rent a property so hopefully i can have them half the time or even more as stbx is a workaholic.
My solicitors bill has escalated and the revised estimate is now £7000.If an arrangement is not sorted in next 6 weeks then we have to go to a full hearing,costs which will be another £7000.

Good luck,wish you all the best