Children

Hi I'm Andrew and new to this. Firstly the Seperation was my fault after 2 affairs over a 7 year period. During that period I moved out for 3 months after my first son was born, and then had 2 more children.

We lived together happily for a while and then I confound myself to the spare room for 2 years. We continued to to look after and take the boys out for days and dinners.

Then for schooling reasons she moved to Canterbury 20 months ago.

I was devasted, and all though the next steps were not ment to happen, I started dating an ex girlfriend from 19 years ago.

We have been living together for 19 months and the children (3 boys, 11, 9 and 7) know that their parents will not get back together but will always love them.

I still stay over with the boys at my ex's, take them for days out, play cricket etc..

The challenge is is that partner would like to meet my children and this has become a major challenge. As the relationship is very stable i would like some advice.

Andrew

Hi. You have made a mess of things a bit. I wont say anything about the affairs and so on as thats in the past and you have to look to the future. At least you love and treat your kids well. Thats the main thing. As for your partner seeing the kids this has to be done very carefully and must be done with the permission of the mother. There is no other way. You cant just introduce them to her. Thats touting for disaster. Speak to your ex wife about this. But you have to pick the right time. And she has to be ready to accept your partner. This is going to be a tough ask for most mothers as what you are doing is asking her to accept another women into her childrens lives. Once you have her approval then you need to start floating the idea with the kids. If your wife dissaproves you wont get anywhere. You have a mountain to climb. But done the right way and carefully and slowly this can be achieved. Everest wasnt climed in a day. C.