What should I do?

Hallo Mary Theresa

I guess the bottom line is what do you want? You can't go back in life you can only go forwards. To deal with this behaviour of your husband's which is clearly distressing you, you need to talk to him.

Don't allow what your family or friends or neighbours might think to sway you - apart from anything else you can't know how they would react. They don't live your life - you do. And you may find they are very supportive.

Not sure why you think your husband has options and you don't - I have a friend whose sister married for the first time at the age of 63!

It sounds as though you are excusing what he has done - but its clearly an issue as you wouldn't be posting here if it wasn't.

Why is the age thing relevant? My husband was 8 years older than me, and it was him who had the affair! It doesn't come down to age, it comes down to the person! And why do you seem prepared to settle for this - 'I knew it would happen at some point' ??? Why should it?

Your options are not there, not because of your age, but because YOU are holding you back! My excuse was that I had a young child, so I couldn't possibly............... It was an excuse in my head! Once I'd overcome that I realised that I was so much better off without him than in a relationship where I was way down on the priority list. I do have options and which ones I take are upto me!

Sorry if this sounds harsh - it's not meant to be, just frank and honest.

I think when something like this happens to any of us it's so easy to hide away and forget to live our lives, and it's not easy, but a little bit of positive thinking can go a long way!!

Good luck to you hun,

PT x