New to site and in desperate need of support

Another idea is change your mobile number or get his calls barred. Then he won't be able to text you anything.

Thanks NoRegrets and Saffy and all. It's good to know that I'm not going out of my mind. Saffy, do you mind me asking what your grounds for a non-mol order were?

Of course not, leading up to my divorce, in fact a good year before, my husband had to be arrested 3 times for being physically and verbally abusive and when that happens, the police automatically contact the domestic violence unit, who got in touch with me and came to my home to discuss various options, they were very helpful. It took me a while to see sense and the fact that my husband was never going to change. He was a heavy drinker also. Like I have said contact the DVU for some advise. They even arranged to change my locks, put chains on my doors and window locks free of charge and the police were aware also and I had the direct number to the local police station.

When I went to see the solicitor recommended by the DVU, she suggested the non mol order and went to court immediately to get it. Quite simple to do and had to list reasons for it then if the judge agrees, it is granted and quite often served on the same day.

Saffy xxx

I have just dug out my paperwork and a non molestation order was applied for which prevents Mr X from using or threatening violence against me, intimidating, harrassing or pestering me.

"In order to make this type of order the court has to be satisfied that it is necessary for your health, safety or wellbeing"

"Occupation order - this is to prevent Mr X from returning to your property".

I had to then attend court a month later for my ex to have his say, it went fine although I was manipulated into changing it by him so that he COULD come over but only with my prior permission.

If my ex had not agreed then it would have then gone to a contested hearing, if agreed then it is dealt with there and then.

Failing to comply with an order can result in 6 months in prison.

Make sure you have as much evidence as possible to back up your harrassment/abuse and keep records of dates, text messages in fact anything that you can think of.

Good luck

Saffy xxx

Thanks for sharing that Saffy. Sounds like you went through absolute hell. I hope things are ok for you now. Problem is that I don't think I am in any physical danger although he has hit me before. I wonder whether I have a strong enough case on him for an order. He certainly is making life hell for me and I feel anxious most of the time now. His texts are mostly based on accusing me of things I haven't done to do with my daughter, calling me stupid, thick, useless, idiot, inept etc etc. Together with threats of Consent Orders, suing me etc as previously mentioned. I often wake up in the morning panicking because I'm anxious about whether I've done everything right or I've forgotten something or not picked up my daughter etc etc. Takes me a few minutes to get my bearing - it feels horrible.

Also, if I did a molestation order he would prob lose his job and then he would become really malicious. He always thinks of new and improved ways of punishing me.