What now??

Nine months ago my life as I knew it fell apart. My husband of 28 years left without telling me. All I was worth was a note left on the chair. No real good reason except he 'needed to get away'. He does not want to come back and deep down I know its over but its so hard. He tells me we had more years than most people and he did not tell me he was going because he did not want to see me cry. I know I'm going to be better off without him and I have more up days now than down but I still do have down days and today is one of them. So I'm now a seperated woman who cant afford a divorce and is trying to get used to being on my own again. My self esteem is way down and if I'm honest life is rubbish!! As I said what now?? I've just read this back and I know I'm not depressed more stressed and fed up. Sorry just need to off load a bit today.

Hallo Sparkyssister and welcome to Wikivorce

My husband left for someone else after we'd been together 31 years. That was nearly a year ago. I was in a right state - anti[depressants, counselling etc and this site and lots of friends helped me.

I am now much happier and less stressed and having a good time - have not yet tackled getting divorced, but feel much stronger and I am sure you will too.

If you are fed up you need to do soemthing - go for walks, plan a trip somewhere, join a book club.

and pop into chat to talk to others who have been where you are now.

what a lovely way to find out he wasnt happy, mines was just as cowardly he told me xmas morning about the affair and she is only the 25 years younger than him.

I know what you mean about getting used to living alone, I have not lived alone before and struggle with it sometimes, you should go into chat there is usually someone there who you can talk to.

wish you best of luck

smithy xx

Hey, what a lovely way to find out about your husband. He needed to get way, well what can I say.

I first knew something was wrong back in '07, when a personal letter dropped onto my doormat, from a woman with her address on the back, thats when my world fell to pieces. I remember sitting on the stairs and didn't move for ages til my husband came home from work. He just strugged it off as if it didn't matter, its only my friend he said.

Then things went from bad to worse, the final straw for me was when he went to Ireland back in January, Ive always wanted to go to Ireland but he would never take me, but he went on his own, or at least I think he did, cant prove he did or didn't.

Sparky, you're not on your own here, 23 years of marriage down the pan for me and 25 years of my life with this man, who decided to walkaway from me and our life together, then he had the audacity to say it was my fault for working nights... Lovely eh

I hope you're ok, and welcome to wiki, its a great site.

Hellie
x

I am so glad I found this site (by accident). Its funny you mention working nights, he worked nights and had done so for about 8 years. I used to ask him to change jobs so we could spend more time together but he always said no. He certainly planned this for ages as he left the country and went to Australia!

He is back in the UK now (but not in my life) but says he wants to go back there as soon as he can.