not sure where to go from here ......

Hi,I'm Kath,

As of last night I want to divorce my husband of 30 years for adultery.He has been lovey dovey to me on the surface but it turns out been sleeping around for the past 2 years.We have been separated for 6 months,(he needed time out!)but has been drawing about 20,000 from our offset mortgage ac.He says he will play fair but not if I put a hold on our a/c, then he will draw it all down and not pay any bills.I have never had anything to do with the money side of things but there does not seem to be any form of security for me until things are finalized, I am terrified and can't begin to describe the hurt and revulsion that I feel towards him and myself for my utterly stupid faith and trust in him.Even getting a lawyer a.s.a.p. it seems, cannot stop him from doing this. I work part time and we have two adult kids. What can I do to protect myself?

If you contact the bank and state that you are now separated and that the money may become contested they will have no option but to a freeze on it. Remember that he has the same issue if the accounts are in your joint names there is nothing stopping you from taking out all the money!

On the other side he may not play fair straight and you could lose things but then again he obviously hasnt been playing fair for the last two years!

Secondly speak to the mortgage company they may wellhave some options for you in terms of advice tomake certain that you meet your repayment requirements.

As you are separated are you claiming all the relevant benefits check to see with your local citizens advice bureau. Off the top of my head income support, working tax credits, council tax allowance.

I think that covers it all oh and if in doubt I used to play the recently separated card it does help when you get to speak to someone on a phone

First the joint account. You can freeze this so that your husband can't run it down.

Second, the house. If it isn't in your name you need to register an interest with the Land Registry which will prevent your husband selling it without your consent.

You can look for a solicitor who provides a free half hour of advice to deal with this.

If your husband doesn't help witht he bills you can request a "maintenance pending suit" which is a way of getting money until the divorce and finances are sorted.

Don't allow him to bully you, get the information you need. Your Citizens Advice Bureau can help and your local library will have books about divorce.

There's a surgery on this site on Thursday, you can post specific queries on the forums, and pop into chat to talk to people and get support.

We have all been through it, in our different ways, and some have emerged the other side.

Kath,

FREEZE THE JOINT ACCOUNT NOW!

He's running up debt for both of you, and his comments about playing fair are just a fiction on his part. He's being abusive.

If you have a VirginOne account they can freeze it pretty much instantly - I did the same with ours (my delightful ex mother-in-law kindly offered to bleed my dry).

Fab.Dad