Hello

Hey,

So i had sorted it all, the move back to the UK from Australia, the house, the new job. My wife and children move back a month before to get everything ready then she calls " i'm leaving you".

With work it had been hard and we had started to argue, but she had promised the new start back in the UK would mean we would try.

Last thing i expected, as the last thing she said was she would try, and now i am here with no idea where to go. I am 10000 miles away waiting for my flight to go back and start a new job.

She wants a separation via mediation. she has approached a solicitor and i have agreed that mediation is right. I have agreed maintenance payments for my children, but no i simply don't know whats next.

sorting legal advice from abroad.

Any help or guidance.

Very sorry to hear about your situation.

You have so much going on at the moment what with the job and the move that the best advice in terms of separation and divorce is to take things very slow. The 2 of you really need to think about your children as they will have just been through a huge upheaval of moving halfway round the world, and the last thing they need is to see their parents squabbling about a quick divorce. Hopefully you can get your wife to see the same thing!

Good luck!

S

Hi Novice.

What great timing your wife has!

I would certainly give mediation a try - doesn't work for everyone, and of course does require both of you to work together.

Best not to second guess what's coming next - you will have enough on your hands coping with what's happening today. Do spend some time working out what you want - if things should work themselves out positively, and also if they don't.

You've found the best support network by the way - come and join us in chat when you've got the time.

Fab.Dad

What an awful shock.

For obvious reasons, I think it is sensible to try mediation which can have some significant advantages over the usual route to divorce. If you don't know much about it, there is an article on the subject in the library on this site.

If you do proceed to divorce, will that go through teh courts in the UK or Oz? As far as mediation is concerned, obviously it is better if you are both in the same country although, with facilities such as Skype, it is possible to have 'face to face' conversations at a distance.

Clearly, this is not ideal but better than nothing - I have had excellent conversations with the other end in South America, and some pretty awful ones to Southern Africa where the line kept falling over. I would imagine that lines to Oz are pretty good.

It will be sorted back in the UK. I will be arriving back in 10 days, going to my parents, then stay with friends, as i start my new job. I will then find a place which i will be able to have a room for the children to stay so i can get more than basic access.