Am I being naive...?

I am respondent and I only got the first divorce papers on Saturday, a few days after I buried my Mother!
Ex said he wouldn't have chosen that time, but it had taken months for him to get it through.
I had a frozen brain for the first few days - didn't know how I would possibly manage to make the 7 day deadline for the acknowledgement!
Ex and I had previously agreed to do our own divorce but it seemed he'd started without me and appeared to be "taking me to the cleaners" now I had my Mother's 'inheritance' (makes it sound like millions, which it isn't!).
After crying a lot and talking to all my friends, and spending hours on the internet looking things up, I now feel more able to cope.
I've had lots of advice about not signing anything.
I've had a run-in with an empire building jobsworth at the court when I tried to get an extention to the 7 days because of my situation.
HOWEVER...Ex and I have agreed to work together on this and we are keeping all lines of communication open and we are committed to minimising all costs.
We are both retired and our family grown up and left home.
The reasons given for the divorce are, I feel, 6 of one and half a dozen of the other, but there is no point in defending it so I'm not bothered.
We will not be completing a form E as we are jointly agreeing to our financial split. (It doesn't appear, now, that either of us is out to 'do the dirty' on the other) So after the Decree Nisi we will be organising our Consent Order and that should be that.
Am I living in cloud cuckoo land thinking it can be that easy? ...........abi

I'm very sorry to hear about your mum, my ex announced he was leaving me 2 days after my own mum died so I sadly have a real idea of what you are feeling right now.

Well I am constantly seeking out the good in people and on the face of it, it all does sound very amicable. My only warning would be that I too had this "amicable" arrangement with my ex, most of the ideas were his and I didn't stand in the way of anything he wanted from selling the house to splitting the furniture etc only to have him kick me in the teeth all the way. Despite having his own way it seemed he was never happy with the outcome and kicking me was the only thing he could do.

So be careful, don't sign anything without getting advice either here or with friends etc, and if you feel under pressure to make decisions as your husband for time to think about it.

Take care

Signing and returning the acknowledgement of the divorce petition does not commit you to anything financially and therefore there is no reason to delay that element unless you intend to cross petition or defend against the divorce alegations. If you do defend all it will do is add to costs and delay the process but in the end it wills till go through.

Agree with what perry says. No need to delay the actual divorce. It takes a while anyway. Its reckoned about 3 months. But the courts are quiet now as this is not the divorce season.

Make sure what agree on the financials is a "Clean Break" settlement. This ensures that niether party has the ability to come back for more. I am sorry to hear from your mother. There is no good time to get a divorce pettition. C.

Hi

My Ex was a complete B......d, but we still managed to do the consent order in the way you have. My solicitor said I should have gone further to gain more, but I would have lost it in solicitors fees so what's the point ? I can see no reason why it shouldn't work for you.
Good luck

Hi

I agree with Perry and Marshy ...... it is possible to do it easily, and cost effectively (I've just done it) - seek advice, keep talking, and it'll be 'relatively' stress free...

dd

I had a text all typed out for you and I've lost it on a page somewhere!
Wanted to know how you did your divorce, please?
I just dropped off my acknowlegement form today after losts of advice on how to complete it with qualifying comments on answers 4(blame) & 6(cost)to safeguard me in the future, hopefully.
STBX has a Legal Aid sol, cos he thought it was free!, but he knows now that there will be a charge put on the house - not sure he believes it. However...
I will prob not use a sol and after Nisi I'm suggesting we do a £149 Consent Order as we are working towards an agreement ourselves and going OK so far, touch wood!
Did you do that yourselves?
Did you complete Form E? (I've read you don't always have to.)
Any help would be appreciated and perhaps make me less worried!
Regards....abi