\"Be Happy\"

EnoughIsSufficient wrote:

The last words my late Dad said to me before he died were "For God's sake, be happy." He knew without me saying anything that I wasn't and it was just the push I needed to take action.

18 months later with those words still ringing in my ears and after months of mourning, being sure I was doing the right thing and then planning how to pull it off, I asked my husband of 16 years to leave.

6 months on and I'm here saying hello to you lovely people, doing my level best to be the happiest person I can be.

It's all been remarkably amicable so far. Now he's accepted we're not getting back together he's sought legal advice and been advised to go for a Clean Break on the finances so we can both move on.

And that's the problem. I'm in the MH with the children (9 & 14) and don't want to move them, but just can't afford to buy him out of the mortgage with the 30% equity share he's looking for. We only have the house, motorbike and our individual final salary pensions left to split because we've been able to agree everything else.

His solicitor says the pensions shouldn't come into it, even though I've spent 14 years working part time earning less than him becuase I've brought up the children and as such my salary isn't what it could be.

I'd like nothing better than a clean break, but I need to find some alternatives to paying him a lump sum now and also find out whether the pensions should play a part in the negotiations. I think I need some legal advice!

The pensions would normally be considered as part of the overall pot that is to be divided between you. If his pension is bigger because you looked after the kids then that will be taken into account.

If the division still isn't equitable without him having a share of the house, would he accept a charge against the house with the sale postponed until the kids reach school leaving age?