Nightmare

Wife has just decided that she would like a divorce, try as i can shes not budging, so after 10 yrs thats that.

worried about all sorts as im sure is understood, never thought i would have to worry about what happens with our duaghter home etc and have now spent the last few days with solicitors, cab & web sites.

will all get sorted im sure but hard to see it at the minute, feel a bit up against it!

Its a horrible situation to be in. If someone had said to me 2 years ago, I'd be in this mess, I would have laughed at them. I thought everything was cosy, living the dream and such, then my world came crashing down all around me and I was powerless to do anything about it.

Now Im heading into that D category, with my nisi arriving next week.

It still hurts like hell thou!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Take good care of yourself.

Heli

Was married 46 years, it was my 70th birthday, he never came home till late.That was in the september, october told me our marriagehad gone pear shape. Had him back 15 times before I divorce him.Was of the old school put my wages into joint account allowed him to spend them on what he wanted. When I retired had £30.000 pound, he spent the lot on cars.My sons and daughters all though they are adults, they have been hurt as well.But now six years on life is good, go on holiday when I want, spend my money how I want!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi Nightmare. I came homw from work one night house was spotlessly clean and my kids were not there straight away I knew something was up. It had been with my ex for 18 yrs married for 15. She sat me on the lounge and told me thats it all over kids will be back tomorrow dont be here.

What followed next was 12 mths of hell. After making a verbal agreement with her regarding how the seperation was to be conducted (get anything like that in writing mate) she absconded with my kids from school for 2 weeks but not before lying to police and getting me locked out of my house with an AVO put in place. Apparently they can say what ever they want and the police will take their side "just in case".

I didnt see or hear from my kids for 4 mths including their birthdays.

45K in legals and I get to see my kids 2 days a week, there is a court order in place which she doesnt abide by and no one can do anythibg about it.

My advice. Tread carefully watch your back as the woman you married is not the woman that is about to come after you. Take care.

Hi,

Lots of worries for you at the moment as we all know (or are getting to know). My only advice is stay strong and keep going no matter how bad it gets because you eventually turn the corner.

I agree with Heli's comments - and I too would have laughed in the face of anyone who told me that my ex would have an affair and within 3 months of it starting I would become public enemy number one!

One thing I did learn was that no matter how bad it gets, you can always find someone in a position thats worse than your own. My philosphy was that if they could get through it then so could I!

It depends upon the circumstances but try to maintain whatever level of communication you can, even if it's strictly 'working communication' for the benefit of your daughter! I was told the same thing on a number of occasions yet I still failed to achieve it, partly due to my own obstinate thinking at the time! There is now zero communication between the ex and myself but I still see my son once a week and he stays every other weekend - It's not the best position to be in when all the communication about his visits (and everything else) has to go through him!

I also agree with Screweddad's last comment, you may be lucky dependant upon your situation but in my case there was a massive difference between the person I lived with for over 20 years and the person she became leading up to the divorce.

Take Care,
Yoda

cheers all, i need all the advice/support i can get at the minute,your right about the multi personality disorder, she is just being a pain at the moment, the sad thing is, i still dont want any of this!

Hi mate - I'm in a similar position and at about the same stage as you. I've justed signed on to Wikivorce. I need support as well and maybe we can swap tips as we go through...? I don't want any of this either and didn't ask for it. My wife and I are cooperating but things could turn ugly at any time.