hello everyone

hi there ive been reading the boards all afternoon.ive been married almost 23yrs.i have three grown up children and my husband and i are legal guardians for our grandchild. my husband cheated on me over three years ago.we had a brief reconcilliation when he arranged a so called family holiday.we spent one week together he pretended all was well but left within weeks to go back to the girlfriend.needless to say i was devastated but it didnt stop me trying again. hes continually told me hes unhappy etc promising he wants to come home but cant get out of the hole hes in etc.i feel ive now reached the stage where i want a divorce.i wondered if we could get diy on the grounds that we have no children of our own and have been apart more than two years.also can we get divorced but delay selling the house until later if we both agreed.hope someone can advise:S

Hi Mags

Im sorry to hear that you are having a difficult time.

You say you are legal guardians for your grandson - does he live with you?

As regards selling the house at a later date, that is posible - most separating/divorcing couples draw up a seperation agreement, detailing the division of assets (matrimonal assests are those accrued during the length of the marriage, prior to seperation, the only exceptions are gifts and inheritances) - if you both agree to sell the house at a later date, then I cant see why that should present as a problem, esp if its set down in a seperation agreeement.

There is a term used in Scottish divorce law - "children of the marriage" - this includes any step-children and/or adopted children,as well as obviously natural children. it is only children UNDER the age of 16 who would fall into this category, as children over the age of 16 are classed as adults. I have found, from my own divorce proccess that this term is open to interpetation and depending upon the Sherrif Court Clerk and the Sherriff on the day, can be interpetated in different ways . I think that your best bet is to seek proper legal advise on the issue of your legal guardianship of your grandson. I would suspect that if you and your husband both have legal guardianship status, then the DIY route might not be an option for you. You may need to use the ordinary procedure, under which you can seek a divorce action on the grounds of 24 months non-cohabitation, with no consent required. (see our step-by-step guide for further info on this).

Ruby

thanks ruby
my grandaughter (10)has lived with us since we were awarded parental rights and responsibility with residency when she was a baby.i did seek legal advice before (a free half hour)at that time my husband was telling me i could keep the house in return for not asking for anything else.needless to say the morgage company refused to take his name off as i didnt earn enough.I was told by the solicitor my husband was not under obligation to pay any money to us for maintenance as i had a part time job etc and as grandaughter was not our child.maybe i just chose the wrong lawyer as he didnt seem that interested was very laid back and matter of fact.i actually left feeling i should be grateful i got anything.As my husband was giving me a monthly allowance i decided to leave things as they were.that was why i thought she would not count as our child.thanks for the advice ill maybe try a different lawyer.