just discovered wikivorce

read about this site in work today, great idea to identify with others " in the same boat ".
i'm really confused about what to do about my relationship with my partner of 12 years, we have a young son and his twin baby sisters to consider. would have left her 9 months ago but it would tear my guts out to leave my little 'uns

Think long and hard before you make any life changing decisions as you then embark on a rollercoaster ride that will change your life, your partner's and of course your children's. Try and identify what is actually wrong with your relationship. If you can do this then at least you both have a chance to see if you want to change it. Counselling can help you do this. Good Luck!

Hi
Ive just read your message and welcome to this great site you will find it very helpful.
I would think about your relationship very hard before making the biggest step of your life.
I must admit I was in the 'same boat' as you for 18yrs, I walked the streets in 1988 when my only son was not even 1 year old and new I wanted out of the relationship (marriage) but like you it tore my heart out every time I even thought about my sons future.
Any way to cut a very long story short 3 years ago I finally decided enough was enough the arguments turned into fights and much worse so I decided to call it a day my stbx actually left the mh but since that day even though he has continually harrassed me, assaulted me, made my life a living hell, even to a prisoner in my own home, I Wished I had made that decision when my son was very young as at 19 it made him very bitter towards me, which I thought would never happen we were like brother & sister, unseperable, now my stbx has brainwashed him so much I dont have any contact with him.
And Believe Me That Hurts Even More, When They Are Older They Can Speak Up To You - My son had never spoken to me like he has since our seperation and its all come from the bitter & twisted Ex.It has been a very long and lonely road for me, Until I found this site.
I am not telling you to go ahead, but think very hard, but also remember that you and the children are still young, you have a whole life ahead of you, You only get One Life.
Sorry to go on but thats my opinion.Hope It helps.

Cass xx