My story!!!!!

Hi,
I am new to the site. My husband left me in September last year after we had tried relate etc.
We have just completed mediation and I am about to issue divorce proceedings against him.
I have found it an incredibly difficult and stressful phase in my life and sometimes find it difficult to drag myself out of bed.
He has since met someone else who has two children. My own children met her for the first time last week which I also found extremely difficult. My son was very rude to her and would not talk to her whilst my daughter was fine.
I moved to where I live now when I married and now wish to take the children and go home to my family about 150 miles away. I am feeling quite desperate about this as I feel completely alone with very few good friends.Husband is against this and will fight.
Would like to know if I can do this or if I have to stay in area so kids are near father?

I don't think you have to stay in the area, though of course its where your children go to school, have friends and are familiar with.

Moving to your home area would provide you with support systems, but if it causes a lot of unpleasantness between you and your husband it won't be easy for your children, especially if they face a lot of travelling time to see their father.

you would need to consider all the practicalities of moving.

I know things can be very depressing but maybe you could find more support locally? There are bound to be other Wikivorce people living nearby. I've found the Wikimeets very helpful as a way of talking to other people who have been through the same thing.

My friends have all been great and I have joined new groups to meet other people as a way of focusing on other interests.

Nell

Really horrible one - there are no rights and wrongs. My word of warning is if you know your husband will fight, you are going to have to go quietly which isn't easy. My family are over 250 miles away - and stbx took out a Prohibitive Steps Order on me to stop me going, all based on pure lies (saying I had threatened to abduct the boys etc. etc.) when I had never even suggested moving was an option! He has made my life so intolerable in the last 6 months that moving is the ONLY option, I feel, and so I will fight as hard as I can to acheive it.

This whole thing makes me incredibly sad because I would have been prepared for a 50/50 split of care if he had only been decent, honest and lived up to his responsiblities. He has done none of this and makes my life a misery as well. The children are unsettle and unhappy and I have grave concerns over teh quality of care they receive when with him (I have contacted Social Services it is that serious, backed up by his next door neighbhour).

So, I know a lot of father's on here are denied any access to their children and I do not advocate moving away as a first option, not at all. I also recognise the right of the child to have a relationship with both parents and I am able to separate contact and the financial side of things (I have never denied access despite the fact he gives me no financial support, for example). However, I do think it is important that both parties learn to recognise and respect each other's point of view, that the needs of the children are paramount and that sometimes, that means there might be an awful lot to work through.

Going to court is a hellish option - avoid it if you can.

Thanks for the advice. I will certainly think very hard before I do anything. Just feel like I have been given a prison sentence etc.