advice

Hi,
my husband left just over a week ago and it has not ended on good terms. I had to get the police involved because he refused to leave one day when I asked him to after an arguement, although he wanted this and had a new place to go. I was angry and hurt at the way he was so happy and left me and my sons in a house that needs work and the obvious money worry. Now he will not see my young sons and that hurts like hell, Is's the eldests birthday in a few days and it will kill me if he does not contact him. I need him to work and I have been forced to take sick leave, but if he does not contact us soon I will have to give up work which is hard for me to do. How can a another person be so mean as to do all this he left and got what he wanted why punshish the children. I know he thinks its me he is trying to demoralize. But his actions is just enforcing why this marriage did not last. I feel so depressed I can not see the light here although I know it is there. I am desparate for him to see the children what do I do if he refuses to contact them. Please can some one give me some sound adivce. thank you

Iamine-

you cannot control what your ex does, but what you can do at this point is to prepare your eldest for the possibility that ex will not contact him for his birthday. If you are wrecked , if you focus on trying to make ex act appropriately, if you confuse YOUR wishes for contact with your son's, you will only end up - albeit unwillingly- spoiling the day.
Something extraordinary has happened at this time. Who knows how contact will go in the future. But for now, it is a damage limitation situation.
I suggest you explain to your son that ex is a bit confused at the mo, may not be in touch, but that you are going to make sure you give your son a great day, forgetting for a few hours about the ex. If ex does contact , all well and good- help him do so, for son's sake.
After the birthday, you can get on with sorting this all out.

Thanks constanza, I have already explained to my son in the nicest way about dad, and have planned a good weekend for him. I will not contact my ex and let him do this when he is ready god willing if not then I will deal with that when it happens thank you very much.