divorcing at 24!!

hey all,

Im 24, divorcing on grounds of UB and dont know what to make of things!

Too be told my stbx that iwont meet anyone else at 24 as we have 3 kids, think im starting to believe it!

hi divorcedat24
First things first dont listen to it please they are just saying them things to make you feel the way they should be feeling and doest want to feel so its his way of dealing with there own short comings.

I dont know you but if you got three kids they must be pretty young and thats a tough job so i know you are tougher than you think . Believe me you are tough and you are in the right place for support ,

I dont know whats worse being young or being older with or with out children when marriages break up its swings and round abouts.
I think but you will meet some one when you are ready .

Dont listen to what they are saying ok let it go over your head I know its easier said than done but please try.

Some men/women will make you feel this way my ex did and it was him that should of been feeling the way he made me feel but I did learn later on when i was down the road of this divorce stuff a bit further than you that he had to make me feel the way he did so he didt have to and so he could just move on with out a care because i expect if he didt make me feel the way he made me feel he wouldt have been able to carry on with what he was doing or acting the way his was he was weak and also may be if he had to face up to things he wouldt feel so good about him self .

But you are going to be so much different because moving on is about facing up to our feelings as well as every thing else go with them cry if you need to shout and scream even but dont let them put their short comings on to you they will have to eventually face their demons but you shouldt have to face theirs too.

Facing your own and dealing with your own is hard enough let them face their own dont help them rid them selves of them let them do it them selves .

Come into chat if you feel up to it .

(((((((((HUGS 4 YOU)))))))))))


You will not always be on your own just remember that you are beautiful good looking even and worth more keep saying this to your self xxx and believe it you are worth more .

Take care sweet heart

All my love Dido xxxx

Thankyou so much.

Yes, Stephen and I have 3 children under 5 so its quite hard.
Hes signed up to casual sex websites, extreme porn etc and after a final row, he moved out.

He says he wants a divorce so I petitioned for one.
And now he wont agree to the UB references.

Its like he doesnt want me, but doesnt want anyone else too eiher?

HI

Have you asked him to stop the sites ect or even spoken to your GP/health visitor about some Counseling for you both . Its worth trying to see if a marriage can be saved may be he doest want any one to have you because he so does want you but doest know what to do about things.
But if you have decided that this divorce is what you want and for the best .

But although he said he wants a divorce may be it was heat of the moment stuff and didt know what to say sometimes we need to listen to what is not being said sometimes thats the most important words we need to be listening too

It could be that he is embarrassed may be and thats why he wont agree to the UB references .

If I were you i would try talking to him and may be not rushing into divorce just yet its up to you but marriage plus little kids is hard work are you sure its not just a big bump you have come across or are you sure this is the end of the road for you both.

It took me 18 months to file for divorce it wast something I just did even though i knew my marriage was over i still had to be ready emotionally plus the first few months I had to be certain that it was the end .

If you are not certain can you not talk may be try spending a little time just you and him time make it a special time even if its only once a month being young with kids is demanding i was young when I had mine and they take up some much time and some times you both can forget that you need each others time too .

Dido xxxxxxxx

His mum and dad said we should try counselling but hes adamant that its over.
because I dont like the porn aspect etc.

I'd do anything to try and fix hings but he wont even talk on phone or face to face now.

Insisting its all doone via solicitors??

Ive seen the emails from his solicitor, saying to prepare for a life without me so he can get custody of our house and 3 children.

I dont know whats gotten into him?

Hi

If he is adamant then I am not sure what to tell except ask him for time out I really dont like using the word space .

He might be angry at the moment ask him not to rush and see if he will listen talk to his mum that might help especially if you and her get a long .

Dido

Hi

I had 3 daughters under 5 at 29. I caught an STI from my ex when I was 29. He said it was a one off. I believed him because I wanted to keep the family intact. MISTAKE! 15 years down the line he decided he needed to clear his conscience and told me about many other women he has had sex with throughout our marriage. I didn't know. I went into shock and became very ill.

That was 3 years ago and I am great now, but at the time I was so ill. Not because I loved him, wanted him etc. etc. but because I was so flipping mad with myself that I had not got rid of him all those years ago.

Just think about it.

Jo x