Hello, I'm new

Hi Lilibet

It's hard enough to take that your partner has committed adultery. When they move in together it is worse in some ways, yet they say every cloud has a silver lining, if they co-habit it (believe it or not) can help you with acceptance. I know it sounds daft, my situation is very similar to yours, knowing he is serious enough about OW to commit to living with her kinda helped me to accept that that was it for us, over and done with now so move on with my own life.

We have 2 grown up children and one has blocked dad (I hate to see that happen, but I do get her reasons) and the other is currently still going through a state of confusion, loves him/hates him stuff. All one can do is be there for what ever way they need you to be there for them, and it sounds like you are doing that just fine.

Loramy, I can empathise with you, drink makes a person so unreasonable, it amplifies any emotions they have, I also think it gives them a strength to be more cruel, it's a cop out on their part and very irresponsible where children are involved.

I remember that feeling of dreading his return to home, never knowing what to expect, how bad it would be, how to keep the peace etc., So glad those daily walking on eggshell days are over. It's been over 2 years for me now, I have zero direct communication, and that really makes him angry, but at least he can't make me feel the fear of his anger anymore, even though he has tried.

I hope that you will one day feel the way I do now, although it is all so very sad, looking back and comparing then to now, I am calmer and relax very easily these days, it is so peaceful at the moment, never thought I would say that my days are good. Have faith in that it does get emotionally nicer and easier to cope with stuff, it's quite encouraging when that starts to happen.

Take care

Thaanx 4 your opeeness in your message. You have been thru so much in this last couple of years. I reeally do hope you ar feeling so much stronger now for you and your children. I too have had a lot of counselling over the years as I suffer from depression. I have found it wonderful. i find strength in the thought that I am making a better life for myself and my daughter. She has seen to much for a 15 year old. I thought I was making a good life for her when with m y ex and the arguments and abuse were out of earshot to her, but she has told me that she used to hear it all.
Hope to talk to you more. Stay strong and positive. Thanks again yr message

Thank you. I look forward to those days. I already feel more relaxed with his out of the house. He is away in Devon this week at his sisters and I feel so happy that it is just my daughter and myself in the house and no one turning up. He did get a warning letter off the solicitor last week about harrassment and turning up at house unannounced.What did he do - abusive texts and came banging at the house calling me a liar. Oh well at least that part is over with now. The next is when he gets the divorce papers. Hope to talk toyou more over next few weeks and months. Best wishes to you and yours. Loramy

Thankyou so much for the warm welcome!
Thanks again all x

How are you doing? Have you had a good day?
I went to psychotherapy appointment. I get a lot out of it. Hated it when I first started but it works for me now. Did a bit of retail therapy just a few itms from Lush for a nice bath and a craft project Im working on.
Cant stop tidying up and moving his things out of the way. Really love not having him in the house. I ve started on the bedroom and changed a few things around. Enjoying doing it.

Take care.

Loramy