Help

Hi I am new on this forum but would like to get some advice.
My wife, after 22 years of marriage, has decided to leave me. We have an 18 year old son who is in university. The reason she wants to leave me is becasue i caught her having an affair and many other relationships with men she had picked from facebook. She had been lying and cheating on me and meeting all these men.
She has told me that she does not want any share in the house , car or money. SHe just wants me to transfer her share to our only son. I am not too sure if she will be able to survive on her salary as she is working only part time and has health problems. Is there any steps i should be taking so that she does not come back to me in future to ask for her share in everything? How do i proceed from here?

Zee,

Welcome to wiki. Sorry to hear the circumstances that have brought you here.

What you need to remember is that the divorce and any reasons for it are entirely separate from the financial settlement. Guilt drives a great many people to make promises immediately a split happens - but when the dust settles - and/or they seek legal advice that all changes.

There cannot be a legally binding financial settlement until you have a Decree Nisi in place. It can be done by way of a Consent Order but you each need to make a financial disclosure and a judge will only OK it if they are satisfied it is fair - and that you both understand the implications of what you have agreed.

After 22 years of marriage, the presumed start point for financial division would be 50:50. If she wants to agree a share and then transfer it to your son, that is up to her - but it can only happen once the settlement is in place.

If you would like to know what a fair financial settlement should be in your case, you can post financial information on the forum and wikipeeps will give you guidance.

It is best to be prepared for this to happen. My ex promosed us the sun, moon and stars when he left .. then wanted them all back and more .

Hadenoughnow

Hi,

Thanks for the information.

How will it work if she simply wants to separate? She is insisting on moving out and she told me she looking for a place to live. SO what happens to all the expenses fro teh marital home? Does it mean that because i will be living in there i haveto bear all the cost?

I am just very confused now as she is being supported by her new men she has met on facebook. Couple of them are divorced so surely are very much aware of the correct procedures.

Zee,

If you separate and she moves out, you cannot force her to pay anything towards the house - although if she is on a joint mortgage and you default, she would be chased for arrears - and repossession would affect her credit rating.

If she earns very much more than you, I guess you could apply for maintenance pending suit.

If divorce really is the only option, it is better to get it under way and a financial settlement sorted sooner rather than later .. that way you can know exactly where you stand financially.

You can have a Separation Agreement between you - but this is not legally binding - although if it is done properly and fairly, it could strengthen your case if there are proceeding in future.

Hadenoughnow

She wants to move out and is looking for place to live.

She is working part time and is earning much less than i am so does that mean that she can claim maintenance from me.
We have a son who is 18 and is in Uni and he will be with me.

thanks

Zee,

It is possible that she could claim maintenance from you.

To advise you more effectively we would need you to provide a bit more information.

Ages

Length of marriage

Children - ages

Incomes

FMH - market value, size of mortgage and size of property

Pensions - CETVs if you have them

Any savings, endowments etc in joint or sole names

Any other assets - valuables etc

An estimate of your income needs is also helpful ..

Hadenoughnow