Hello

Just wanted to say hi, my name is Dee and I have recently left the marital home and moved into rented with youngest and oldest kids. We have been together for 20 years, married for 10, things been really bad for last couple years, he very abusive and controlling and inflicated terrible mental cruelty, he has destroyed my self confidence and esteem, I continued to put up with it and daily rows because I thought it best for our family(three sons 19, 16 and 13)he has a very good job and I could never provide the same quality of life, but realised when youngest started to become mentally affected by the whole situation that I had to do something. Came to a peak last summer had a sort of breakdown - couldnt function and just cried all the time then I lost my job at the end of last year to so have had a really rubbish time. Went to counselling for 6 months until May this year and this has helped me get stronger but a long way to go. I did ask him to move out but he totally refused, I asked many times, he said if I dont like it I have to go, so I did, I have left my lovely home which I worked hard for and am living in tiny rented place, unemployed and he will not give me any money BUT I will not allow him to hurt and destroy me any more I am moving forward and its really hard, and when I feel strong enough I will get my share of the house etc at the moment just concentrating on healing and looking after my son.

Hi Denby

Welcome to wikivorce

You are amongst friends here - if you feel up to it, pop into chat and say hello... a number of our members were in situations such as yours and will understand where you are at. When you feel a little better, there is a wealth of resources here (forum, chat, library, legal surgery) to help you find a direction.

In the meantime, just take a rest

Shezi