Do I need to admit adultery if I don't contest

My husband went to work in Iraq against my wishes in Sept 2007. We have a daughter who was just 5 at the time and I have a son who was 15 from a previous relationship. I managed to put up with the situ until July last year when I flipped and I told him it was over in August when he returned on leave. We legally separated in Dec 08. I was planning to divorce him for UB but he has installed keystroke monitoring software on my computer and has been accessing my emails so he knew about this and he filed for divorce based on my adultery. I was not aware I could be accused of adultery and I had a brief relationship after we separated but not before. I now know I can be accused of adultery and whilst adultery was not the reason for the breakdown of the marriage I don't want to prolong the process and my main priorities are the kids. I do not want to contest the divorce and cross petition for UB as it will cost masses. I need to fill in the paperwork. If I don't contest divorce but I also don't admit adultery will he have to change the petition? or will it just go through? Any help appreciated as I do not want to go to court as I will be bound to admit to adultery.

Never heard of keystroke whatsit, but that is a gross intrusion of privacy. What a snake!

Ok, as to the divorce, your ex would have to prove you have had sexual intercourse. Not sure emails would be sufficient - and the way he obtained them is dubious.

But on the other hand, if you want to get divorced, you could agree and sign and get on with it.

Or you can say you don't agree with it but that the marriage has broken down.

Not sure what is likely to happen in those scenarios but your ex probably doesn't want a courtroom struggle over it as the money will just be going to a solicitor and will drag things out.

Thanks for your message.

I am fairly confident he has no proof bar the emails and I believe he also tracked my mobiles too so he knows the locations I have been to.

But I do not want to do battle. It is really the principle of the whole approach he has adopted.

What I really need to know is if I do not contest the petition but do not admit to adultery will he have to change the petition? Or will the petition still go through? Or will I be dragged into court to defend my statement? I am likely to have to pay for the divorce costs I don't want to incur any more than I have to.

Any clarity appreciated and yes he is a snake although he has to live with the tactics he has employed not me!

Unless he has actual proof that sex has taken place between a man and a woman or a written admission from you he will struggle to have the divorce put through on adultery. In which case he will have to change it to UB if he still wants a divorce within 2 years.

T

so if I don't admit adultery he will have to prove it or the divorce wont go through?

Correct

T

Thanks - appreciated and that is at least clarity! Do you know if he will have to prove it prior to court or will I be dragged into court? Do you know also the likely cost implications.