Introduction

Going through final stages of a divorce following 21 years of marriage. My wife had an affair and asked me to leave the matrimonial home when i found out. We have 3 kids aged 17, 15 and 11, they live with their mum.
I have not used a lawyer, tried to settle everything amicably.

I have the kids every other weekend and holidays.
My income 43000
Her Income; unsure approx 18000 at a guess.

I continued paying the mortgage for a year after separation whilst she lived in the house. This became too expensive whilst renting so she took the mortgage on and I used the online CSA calculator to pay maintenance which is £450. I also put £120 into an account for the children.
She has now moved into the substantial home of her partner with the kids and rents out our matrimonial home.

My Ex has had a settlement drawn up by a lawyer which effectively states she will forego any claims on my pension in return for the matrimonial home. The house is worth 260000 (was valued at 310000 a few months before we seperated) and the mortgage left to pay is £40000. The settlement entitles me to £10000 out of the sale the rest goes to my ex and she leaves my pension alone. There is also no timeline on the sale of the house due to the current house slump.

I am trying to guage if this is a reasonable deal or not. I have no other assets as i ploughed everything into the matrimonial home which only had 5 years left on the mortgage. So would like enough for a deposit on a new home.

What do you all think?

In a way, though it sounds like stating the obvious - this decision is really down to you and perhaps how you feel about it all in yourself. It's great that you have managed to get this far on your own and offsetting the value of the house against stbx not touching your pension seems not unreasonable.
Do you know the value of your pension accrued? A few calculations using your CETV (entitled to one free a year from pension co) would give you a rough idea. The wisest course of action would be to run this in front of a good solicitor, perhaps using the first 'free' consultation of about 30mins that many offer. Go armed tho, have all relevant documentation. There are so many variables here, maintenance, rental income, etc, your stbx's own pension..you really need to check and do all the sums..As my own solicitor once said to me (and it's says a lot about how they can operate!!) you only get one bite at the cherry!
It's always better if you can resolve things amicably and you are very wise coming on here, it's fantastic. Please don't make any final decision before having ALL the sums looked at.
I always am annoyed at the innocent parties being hit so hard financially and have to commend you for being so rational and fair in difficult circumstances. I hope you find a resolution that allows you a healthy deposit for your new property.
All they very best and a belated welcome to Wiki:)

cw,

Welcome to wiki.

To be able to work out if what you have been offered is fair, we would need to know the whole financial picture. If you can tell us:

Ages
Length of marriage (+premarriage cohab)
Children - ages, genders and arrangements for them
Incomes
Value of FMH Outstanding Mortgage Size of FMH
Value of other assets - pensions - CETVS, savings, endowments in sole or joint names.
Liabilities - loans, debts etc in sole or joint names

Then wikipeeps will give you a guesstimate of what is fair.

Hadenoughnow

Thanks for the welcome hadenoughnow and basketcase
Info requested

I am 48 my Ex 44
Length of marriage 21 years 4 Months, no premarriage cohab
Seperated Nov 06

My Income £42000
Ex Income Approx £18000

Children F17, M15 and M11 All living with Ex and stay with me in excess of 52 nights a year.

FMH valued at £260,000 in Jan/Feb 09

Outstanding Mortgage £39,000

My CETV = £159,000
Ex kept the savings acc with approx £2000 in it

Ex took on a joint loan with £2200 remaining on it (now finished)
I took on the Car loan of approx £2400 remaining (now finished)

No other Liabilities debts etc.

cw

My 2p worth on this:

This is a long marriage.

Her housing need is met.SHe is sharing the cost of living.
You are renting and should be able to buy.

TBH I cannot see any reason why this should not be a 50:50 split of ALL assets – or very close to it.

Your decision is about the pension .. would you agree a pension share and also take half the equity .. or wd you rather offset the pension and give her more of the equity? Have a look at the wiki library for info about how pensions are dealt with ..

It is controversial – but often courts factor in a pension at a lot less than real value when it is being offset against cash assets. 25% is common.

If that were the case here you would be looking at an assets pot of 40k pension + 220k house = 260. 50:50 is 130k apiece so you wd need 90k from the house …

Even if you put pension in at full value that wd give you 380k of assets .. of which you have circa 160k so you wd need another 30k to be square ..

If she did need to buy – or wanted to get an investment property, she wd have 190k to play with plus whatever mortgage she cd raise ..

If you are happy to wait to sell the place you cd have a deferred charge on it .. say 15% ….She wd pay mortgage and keep rental (You may have to set a time limit tho – otherwise it cd get silly) … OR she cd increase mortage to pay you off with 30k now

You pay CM at CSA rate … and no more.

Of course if you agree a pension share you get 50% or 110k from house .. but wd probably have to wait for a sale for that …………

Hadenoughnow