It's harder than I thought

Hi everyone

I've been floating round on the edges of wikivorce for a few weeks. I'm three weeks into a separation after 10+ years together and almost 8 years of marriage. We were and still are great friends, but somewhere along the way lost our spark and everything slowly unravelled until we were making each other really unhappy. Everyone we know is stunned by the split, but at the time I thought we were doing the right thing. Now I'm not so sure. Can you get that old spark back? Can you get back a marriage from separation? would we even be doing the right thing? I'm feeling so confused at the moment. We've both agreed to see each other regularly to see if we can try to work things out. But are we doing it for the right reasons or are we just lonely?

That's about it!
A very confused winnie!

Winnie

When you have been together a long time you can't just switch off your feelings and mutual history.

But only you and your husband can decide if you want to get back together - and whatever the reasons are, it doesn't matter if you both think its right for you.

But you did say you were making eachother unhappy so how can you change that?

Maybe couples counselling could help you both decide.

I know I wanted my ex back briefly after he'd left, even though I knew it wouldn't work. We remember the good times but you can't just go back to them.