Hello from a good guy in a bad place

Jack808 :

I never realised The Boss was a source of such wisdom. I'm currently downloading "The Essential Bruce Bruce Springstein" to achieve further enlightenment on the way to work tomorrow.

You are right, internet dating will be my way forward with absolutely no shame. Hell, based on your experience I'm suprised everyone's not doing it. I'll work on the other areas of my life but it seems by far the best bet.

This is a delicate time and at the expense of my already scarce mental health I won't do anything until we split up properly. I truly believe my stbx still cares for me as friend and if we are to succeed in shared parenting it would be best if it stayed that way. Early dating could be a disaster for either of us.

At the moment, I want to find a keeper but plan to never forget the lessons that have been and are yet to be hard learnt.

I feel supremely unqualified to give life tips at the moment but for the benefit of anyone in a similar position I'd like to recommend Facebook. Over the last month or so it's provided an occaisional if artificial sense of belonging and connection to a community. The totally trivial interaction with casual friends and family has been distracting. I've also reconnected with an good friend that I can offload onto whist getting drunk.

thanks again

Rowlf

Bon : Thanks, you've given me food for thought. I'll reply tomorrow. It's now bedtime though.

Rowlf,

Saw the Boss at Glastonbury this year with new ladyfriend, which is something I would never have done while I was married. Not saying I'm his number one fan or anything but, in his early work, his understanding of broken dreams, broken relationships etc. is really quite startling in one so young and so successful. Wouldn't have recommended The Essential though as he's carried on churning out bland stadium rock long after he should have retired, which warps his back-catalogue somewhat so I think disc 1 of the Essential is probably where it's at. Best albums are Darkness on the Edge of Town, Nebraska and also bits of The River and Born in the USA. It's all about those early ballads for me.

Have to say though I remember wallowing in a lot of Springsteen earlier on in my break-up but then moving on a bit in due course. If you want another relevant one try downloading 'Stay Positive' by The Streets. Sends tingles down my spine every time, that one, though it is a bit hard-hitting in places.

Anyway, lots of positive little steps and a chirpy tone in your latest post, so well done and keep it up!

Welcome to wiki, Rowlf, You'll meet some great peeps on here and hopefully some of them will be good friends to.

There is always someone around the help you in your hour of need.

Good Luck

Helli

Hi There, your story is exactly like mine, but as selfish as this sounds I know the kids would be better off with my wife.I too got the old I love you but not in love with you any more, share the same house, either talk just as friends or compleltly avoids me. she wont go to counciling and has changed completly.I have tried giving her space but she just abuses it, and fell she is treating me this way to make me angry enought to say fine lets seperate. when do you give up???

Now look what you've done!

The stbx and I love Glastonbury. We've been more often then I can remember and planned to take the kids for the first time this year. You and I are travelling in opposite directions, sniff......

I agree about Springstein, moments of absolute genius sprinkled amongst entirely too much dull rock and roll by the numbers. Atlantic City is excellent and new to me but I didn't get much further this morning before switching to an audiobook to help keep the negative thoughts out of my head. Distraction is important I feel.

I could have cried when I heard that Neil Young was at Glastonbury this year and I wasn't. That trauma I might never recover from.

Rowlf

Hi con,

I'm really sorry that we're both in the same boat.

I hate to say it but in my case, Jack is right. I need to accept, accept, accept and move on.

It took months and maybe years for my partner to decide we should no longer be together. Each day she became more and more emotionally detached from the man she fell in love with. Early on, it could have been turned around but she said nothing and I had my head in the sand. By the time she told me how she felt, it was too late.

Look after yourself and whatever you decisions you make, don't make them out of anger.

Good luck

Rowlf

Apart from the fact that I'm married to my W you r situation sounds similar to mine. I'm really sorry for you.

I'm booked to see the doctor next week. Like you I don't want anti depressants - but unless I find something to raise my mood soon I'll lose the lot - I've managed to log about 16 hours work this month and while the boss is sympathetic to my plight he wants something for the money he's paying me. And if I'm honest I'm suffering from more mood swings than anythin at the moment. On top of the world one moment and in the deepest depression possible the next.

I had them before and they helped me. So don't be scared if you have to take them for a bit.

Oh and this web sites great - I've got a lot out of it over the last few days, the folks on chat are very good at giving you a lift and despite my swings I've always felt comfortable on it.


Good luck mate - it'll pick up in the end.