Hello - new mum of a small whirlwind

I am already very glad I have found this great resource - I was directed here from mumsnet (another great resource).

I am currently a single mum to a beautiful toddler, and struggling with my ex and his very variable desire to get involved in our daughter's life, and his generally being emotionally abusive. But mostly I look at my daughter and think life might be hard but at least it is worth it.

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congratulations on the whirlwind.

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Nell

Hi there

The only piece of advice I can give from my own experience is for you to try to be the best parent you can be whilst you are caring for your child. My stbx changes his mind constantly over the last year and it was really upsetting me. I have now accepted that he will be whatever type of parent he will want to be and I can do nothing to change that.

I am now enjoying my time with my daughter more and feel more relaxed. My stbx has been vile to me verbally over the last year but the best bit has been being strong enough to say enough is enough and that I do not deserve to be spoken to like that. I insisted on us communicating via email or text and that way he had no avenue to be abusive to me. Everything to do with the house,finances and the divorce I have handed over to the solictors. You have control over the means of communication and do what is best to protect you from any further abuse. Let him know that him being abusive to you will have a negative impact on the children involved.

Good luck with it all.

I agree with alchemist, concerntrate on what you can do and not what the stbx may or may not be doing. You can't control them and their behaviour so might as well forget it! I am at the opposite end of the spectrum - stbx wants to be involved and believe me, it brings with it a whole host of other issues!