Thought I was going quite well...

... but then it crept up on me! Hello - I am currently divorcing my husband. He left me for good in February after dithering about whether to stay or go for months on end. I really loved him, he was my first love and I would have done anything to save our marriage. He had another secret relationship to go to which ultimately 'won'. He did the ol' "I love you but I am not in love with you line" - no other discussion, just left after 14 years together. His affair began when our daughter was 3 months old. She is now 2 years old and, having not been too interested to date, he is now very keen to see her. Great for him and great for her but not very easy for me to deal with. To cut a long story short, I thought I had dealt with a lot of feelings and was on the road to recovery but they just keep creeping up. I feel sad, angry, rejected and embarrassed. I feel frustrated that I will never ever get an answer to my question of why did it happen. I am a lucky lady - I have got a wonderful family and great friends and most days I feel strong and positive. Some days however, I feel lonely, scared and plain sad. My dreams seem shattered and all my lovely memories seem like lies. It is hard to stay positive all the time but I think that people need to see me moving forward because they have picked up the pieces for so long - just one look at my fabulous daughter though normally gives me the boot up the backside that I need! Hang on, think I have drifted out of the 'Introduce Yourself' forum and in to another one - sorry, I do ramble on. Thanks for listening/reading. ps Anyone else absolutely astounded that they have ended up on a divorce website? It wasnt meant to be this way!

Hi daaatn

Welcome to wiki your in the right place for support and people that are or have gone through exactly the same.

Me for one was exactly in your position nearly 3 years ago. I know it does not seam like it will but it really does get better and time is a great healer.

Your still in shock and unfortunately you may not ever get the answers you are wanting.

My advise would be try not to put to much energy into thinking WHY WHY WHY!!! I SPENT 2 YEARS WASTING MY ENERGY ON TRYING TO WORK HIM OUT BUT ONCE I REALISED I WILL NEVER KNOW I FELT SO MUCH BETTER.

Look after yourself and your daughter as you are and your right its my boys that kept me going too.

Get out as much as you can with your daughter and make time for you too .

I was married 18 years when i found out my ex husband was having his affair and it hurts like hell .I trusted him 100% .So your not alone i never in a million years thought i would be here.

But 3 years on im very happy, its not been easy and its been a rollercoaster but your be fine .There will be lonley times but their will be many good times to follow also.

I MET SOMEONE A YEAR AND A HALF AGO WHO IS LOVELY and im glad my husband ( ex ) left me as he is so much kinder and loves me so so much and i do him .His not moved in or anything as im still scared but i will get their im sure.

As i said a day at the time it will get easier x

Take care
m2m x