I'm a good guy -Didn't think it would come to this

Hi everyone,

I'm sure I am not unique in my situation (unfortunately), but I hope you'll forgive letting you know where I am at.

I'm 32 years old, wife shortly turning 28, married for just under 3 years having met at the back end of 2003

Currently going through the darkest period of my life after my beautiful and lovely wife has told me she no longer loves me and can't see a way out. In summary, she has apparently felt 'wrong' for a while, but this has evolved into feeling uncomfortable if I kiss her, seeing me as a friend, to now convincing herself that there is no way out. Her reasoning is she wants to be 'happy' but can't say what it is that will make her so - I think that happiness is and outcome of achieving the goals you set yourself in work, family life etc, rather than a goal in itself?

I have tried being good about it, and letting her know that people do go through this, but that with effort and reassessing what we want from life then we can achieve it and happiness will follow, but she doesn't feel she has the energy to do so and genuinely feels there is nothing left and can't see us together. I just want her to be open to the possibility that he might be wrong, and trying to rediscover what we had. If it fails, then we can hold our heads high that we gave it the attention and effort it deserves.

Currently 2 weeks into couples counseling (7 weeks into the nightmare overall), but reached an impasse. So, she is attending on her own next week to ease the pressure and see if she can open up more, and I'll go on my own the following Thursday. I have two agendas with the counselling: 1 to see if by getting under the issues there is a chance of trying again, and if not, 2: to learn how to deal with all of this in the healthiest way possible.

Dr offered anti depressants as I have several crying moments throughout the day, but they really made me feel a lots worse so I'd rather try to deal with this with talking etc.

Anyway, thought I'd introduce myself, and look forward to any advice/help/sharing any of you may wish to offer.

thanks x

Hi and welcome to wiki your in the right place for great support.

You poor thing i too know what it feels like when someone tells you they dont love you anymore.

Try to think positive and give her lots of space and time to think.The good side is atleast she is willing to try counceling .Try to be strong and love your self at take care of yourself.Easier said than done i know!

The crying is normal but in time it does ease x
As many peeps say take each day as it comes ,if thats to hard each hour or each moment.

I wish you luck with counceling and hope she comes around .You sound a really nice understanding guy and talking helped me too so your on the right track .

Good luck

m2mx

Thanks for the kind words. Everyone on here seems great.

To anyone reading this, I'm genuinely interested in both sides of the fence with my position, so any advice is appreciated in getting through this time

x

((((u))))
Take care of yourself, make sure that you eat and talk to your friends and family. The ADs take a few weeks to work so try to stick with them. It hurts so much when the rug has been pulled from beneath you. You sound like you really love your wife. I really wish you the best of luck with trying to save your marriage.
x