Please help me, I'm so worried and confused!

Hi, this is my first post on here so please be gentle with me. I have also posted this on the finance forum in the hope that somebody might be able to offer some advice.

I will try and sum it up as best I can. We have been married for just two years (anniversary was Tues!) and co-habited for 2 years before that. Beginning of July he told me he no longer loved me and wanted to split (incidentally this was the day before I was due in hospital for a major op). On the same evening told me he didn't think he could stay with me if I could not give him children (tho he knew right from the start I had fertility problems).

Situation at present is that he is still living in the marital home tho in separate bedrooms with only polite conversation. House was purchased 2 years ago and £65K of the proceeds of my previous house was used as deposit (and secured under a Deed of Trust). Husband did not contribute financially to the deposit. For last 2 years we have equally contributed to all of the household expenditure (were each paying in £1100 a month). 3 months ago I was diagnosed with depression and made redundant. I am currently waiting for a further op in 2 months time, recovery of which is expected to be 8 weeks. Unf I cannot currently work (signed off with stress and depression) and am on Contributions ­base­d ESA of £240 a month. This is my only income. For last 3 months H has paid £1600 to cover bills, mortgage etc (takes home £2000) but saying he cannot move out as he cannot pay for separate accommodation and our current household expenses (mortgage is £920 pcm).

I simply don't know what the hell to do. The situation with him being in the marital home is so hard to take (like weird polite strangers) but if I ask him to leave he says he cannot afford to pay for the roof over my head. We have joint savings of £12k tho most of these I put in myself before we purchased our joint home.

He says he has definitely made his decision, will not consider counselling and wants out. I do have an appt with a solicitor on Monday but am worrying myself sick that I will be left with nowhere to live and no way to support myself until I am fit enough to return to work.

Can somebody please offer me any advice. If you need any further info please just ask

I know this is not an easy situation for either of you, and it's really not for me to judge, but I confess to wondering whether the situation between the two of you is so bad that one of you has to leave. In the medium term that is probably inevitable, but if I were your husband I would not try to force the issue while you were ill and recovering from surgery. I don't think that is a lot to ask,
unless the position is really intolerable.

I would certainly explain the position to the lender and try to get them to reduce the payments for a time, to ease the pressure on both of you.

You could get some support from your husband for a period to tide you over until you got better and could once again earn a living. This might take the form of maintenance pending suit or interim periodical payments.

I think that, in view of the short duration of the marriage, it is likely that the outcome will be a Clean Break if both of you are capable of standing on your feet and earning a living.

Good luck

Mike