Hi to everyone and help

hi My name is elaine and i'm new to this. i am at the moment going through a nasty divorce. can't believe how complicated it gets and the cost and time involved. I'm posting this on a Sunday morning at 6am when i should be in bed but guess what can't sleep again. I expect a lot of you have the same trouble.

My ex has just become the director of his business to get out of paying CSA maintenance for my two teenage boys. He was on £34K plus before hand as a partnership. Now he his only paying himself so called £120 a week but manages to rent a four bed detach house, go to Spain and Holland on holiday within the last month. Anybody got advice on what I can do about this? Apparantly i have to prove he is taking home more money, which is difficult as he left me over a year ago for another woman, so my paperwork is out of date.

Also to top it all the boiler has leaked all over the lounge ceiling and wall. He's a plumber and should have fixed it as we are jointly liable for the mortgage and property. So no hot water and I have no money to fix it as it costs over £3k and paying the mortgage by myself too. Which we are jointly liable for and he hasn't paid anything for, for the last year.

Oh i so desperately want to be happy again but wonder if it will ever happen? I hate being a wing bag!! I hope there's a light at the end of the tunnel somewhere and I hope I can find it.

Have a good day. Elaine

Hello and an almost 7an welcome to you! Sleep is a major issue, yes!

Am going through something similar with the CSA - your paperwork maybe out of date but it is probably worth sending it in. They have told me that proof of dividend payments in the past, for example, is enough for them to question the stbx. Of course, what happens when they lie, goodness only knows! YOu can also get hold of company accounts from Companies House, very cheaply as well as monitor the company

Not sure what it is about these self employed business men, but they get very protective of 'their' money and seem hell bent on making the rest of us suffer - you will see countless examples of this on here. Not that it helps, but it does help me knowing I'm not alone with it all.

The only thing I can suggest with the water is a solicitor's letter but if he's anything like my stbx (sounds it!), then it would probably go unanswered/ignored. Maybe others will be able to help with something more practical.

There's lots of support on here, ask questions, blog, or pop into chat for support, tea and sympathy just when you need it!

Hi elaine,its 2pm in the afternoon here, and I just had to reply to your comment, what is your husband thinking about, not wanting to pay maintenace for his children, I have teenagers and I know how expensive they can be to maintain. You poor thing , you must be so worried about your future. Im sure some of the other wiki,s will be able to give you some info regarding your paperwork, but you have to look after yourself, get enough sleep,you need to be strong thru this, for yourself and your teenagers. Go see your gp, and see what he suggests, to help you sleep, take care.

Hallo Elaine

Have you checked with your house insurance - I think they might be able to cover the cost of repairs.

I believe in looking for the positives in a situation and in yours I can only say you will be better off without your ex in many ways, if not financially!

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