Worried and feeling alone

Hi Im new to all this but heres my story
I met my husband 29 years ago I was divorced with 2 children 5 & 7 we married in 1985 and had a son in 1986 My husbands roots are in Italy but he was born here and has always lived here.His family was unaccepting of the situation at first being divorced,2 children non catholic and 6 years his senior I was finally "accepted" when I gave birth to our son We, as far as things seemed have had a happy marriage No major arguements etc and I considered him to be the love of my life and my soulmate.He has never been a very "social person"and didnt really want to go on holiday other than Italy He also never wanted to mix at my family occasions etc and didnt want to join in simple pleasures such as meals out cinema etc We both work full time and our 23 year old is still at home and works as an apprentice engineer I have a wide range of friends and go out to visit them or sometimes for a meal etc to which my husband was invited but never came.He never objected to these outings.He only has 1 friend as he considers himself a private person.Our trips to Italy were stressful due to differences in the culture and many times he would go on his own or with our son for 4-6 weeks at a time.On 26 May he,completely out of the blue told our son and I that the marriage was over and that he had been unhappy for several years because I did not value his Italian family and he had waited for our son to be a man so it would not affect him.He left to go to live with his mum and dad in UK(they have bought a property in Italy to retire to but await the sale of the UK property)He now wants a divorce and we both engaged solicitors.I am devistated and my son is heartbroken not only with the split but there is not enough equity in the home for my son and I to buy a house and as I am 56 not much hope of a mortgageHe meanwhile will live and consider buying his parents UK home(he is 50 & they will give him a family loan)then retire to Italy at 65.Noone saw this coming.
I cant sleep I constantly have vivid dreams and still have to carry on working etc
Sorry for going on but the future terrifies me

Hallo and welcome to Wikivorce

I am so sorry you are in this devastating situation and you are probably still reeling from the shock.

It is a worrying time because the future you thought you had has gone and you are facing the unknown. But in reality the future is always unknown, life is what happens to us when we are busy making other plans.

As for your situation - your housing needs will be recognised by the courts - your husband's housing needs appear to be met. You may end up getting a larger % of the house to help with this - or possibly more offset against any entitlement you have on your husband's pension.

I am sure you are concerned about the emotional effect on your son - but he has you, you have him, and he is now an adult who is able to make his own arrangements about seeing his father etc.

It may not seem like it now, but believe me, things will get better and you will find happiness in your new life.

Pop into chat to get instant support from friendly people who know what you are going through.

Thanks for your support