hi everyone

Nothing quite like jumping straight into the deep end is there....

Welcome to Wiki Amitlaw.

There are loads of lovely people on here and I'm sure your expertise will come in useful to most of them.

K

where are you in the proceedings and is anything being offered as part of a settlement?

since that letter she has requested financial disclosure but nothing has happened due to deaths in both our families

may I asked where you are geog based i.e city / town not personal details

I'm having paranoid thought that you could work for my ex's sol

stupid...but that's where she has pushed me with her demands

init for all the savings - my shares

then for 60K+!!! ish

given the expeses and who has paid the bills ....quite shocking, nasty and greedy for as self declared independent woman

Hi Amt I am inbetween nisi and abolute, ex has offered the £40k endownment and half of pension with the rest at trigger point of house sale.

STBXIsMoneyObsessed wrote:

hello Amit

i posted this a many months ago and go some advice do have any advice as to what you think would be a reasonable settlement and why?




Hello,

I would greatly appreciate advice on a possible settlement.
My wife has suddenly left me saying she loved me but wanted more out of life and now wants a divorce.

She has refused counselling but said that I need it and not us.

I've never hit or swore at her, we've had arguments but always made up within an hour or two. In the last 5 months she never mentioned she was considering this and 1 day before she left she was telling me she loved me.

I feel utterly devastated and would love to reconcile and do admit I was far from perfect. Currently she blames the break up on me and has not accepted any responsibility (it may change in the future though). I love and adore her but am giving her space (minimal contact) at her request. She barely acknowledges I exsist or attempts to talk to me. Only getting in contact for practical matters.


I paid
[1] The deposit on the house (140K deposit), (it's in my name as she had no salary / job when it was bought and we were not married or living together. I also wanted to protect her from being chased by mortgage company.)
[2] home improvements (about £20,000)
all mortgage payments,
[3] bought the car,
[4] council taxevery year
[5] and all major purchases. TV, bed etc



She paid / pays
[1] utility bills,
[2]groceries
[3]car insurance
[4] sofa
[5] going out costs (about £50 to 100 a month)

Your respective ages;
Me. 33 Her 27

The number of children you have and their ages;
none n/a

How many nights the children spend with each parent;
none n/a

The length of your marriage and any period of pre marriage cohabitation;
1 yr 8 months cohabitation.
3 yrs 5 months marrage until she walked out

Your respective incomes;
as of this year 40,000 me and 36,000 her.

Your respective outgoings;
mine currently £1000.00
hers £400 max

Your assets - both soley held and joint;
400,000
House 250,000 paid deposit of £140 k, + all mortgage payment. It's in my name so is the mortgage debt of 100K
Her savings £50k
My savings £100k
Car I bought for £13k in 2006 now worth £5k (her estimate).

Your liabilities.
100000 mortgage debt in my name

Please could you help?
What do you think would be a reasonable settlement and why?

Thank you for your help.

Firstly you would have to decide whats steps you will take;

The marriage was not that long but its a question whether you could bargain a settlement in lieu of leaving the property you have well alone. As she is relatively young and on reasonable earnings, i would probably estimate based on the lifestyle that
around £30,000 + car (or so) as cash payment would probably be a reasonable figure. I have helped many clients of similar good earning potential to settle although any agreement must not attempt
to oust the jurisdiction of the court.

Please note that this is a glancing estimate and wikivorce disclaimer applies insofar that i am not giving proper legal advice.

thanks for the post and the note bene

I will take it into consideration

I have been told I could make a contributions based argument as
she has paid so little and taken so little risk in the relationship

that is if it went to court and given her over the top demands proabably will

what do you think about such an argument
as
[1] she is able to support her self
[2] contributed way less
[3] has plenty in savings of her own

thank you

The issues are not entirely contribution based, your relationship as being married will give rise to certain constructed rights,ie the right to pursue for ancillary relief, although the facts of the marriage being quite short in length, no children
and levels of income and savings may mean that any "over the top" demands are likely to be dismissed. Although these circumstances have their own importance.

It there had been children, things would be very different

The matrimonial causes act 1973 section 25 criteria are all equally important and have to applied in a "balanced" way which means that in the scope of the law its application should be fair and just in these specific circumstances. Any benefit to her would not be in the detriment to you as far as the law sees it.