Sister suicidal over husband's affair

Thank you all for your support!!
My sister doesn't want anyone to know (in case they think she somehow failed to be a good wife) and I have mentioned this site (she was a bit shocked I was looking for help on her behalf!) but she is a reluctant web user and the thought of unburdening to strangers horrifies her.
I feel bad that she can't move in with us, I have 2 young children (9 and 11) and they have been upset seeing her such a mess, and miss their 'Uncle'. I have 2 jobs and my own home to keep going too, and our parents are a mess too as they feel so helpless.
She has no children to 'live' for, and is now missing close friends to turn to as she just spent so much time with her husband. Wish she would just have a look here!

Once again, you sound like a very caring brother to have.

Like I said before, this will get better - the intensity of the emotions and the despair will lessen over time. When I was more or less on my own 24/7, I used to watch a lot of DVDs - it got me from getting up in the morning to going to bed at night, and that was one more day finished and one more day further away from the storm. I did rely on my friends quite a lot - you say she is missing 'close' friends. Does this mean she has some friends she can turn to? She will probably find that they will support her more than she thinks.

It is important to talk about things, either with friends, porfessionals or here on wiki. Reassure her that it isn't her who has failed. It is a humiliating experience, but she has nothing to be ashamed about.

One advantage to talking on an Internet forum like this is that she can remain as completely anonymous as she likes. She can tell her deepest fears and no-one will know any more about her than she wants. If she is a bit techno-phobic, the forum is pretty easy. She can type her comments at her own speed and check for replies when she wants.

There is alos The Samaritans, who do a wonderful job and deal with things professionally and confidentially.

Like I said tho, taling about it is important, bottling it all up just makes the stress of it all so much worse.

Keep doing what you're doing tho, and I wish you both lots of luck

Sun

Thanks Sun
I am trying to do all the nitty gritty of the paperwork that needs to be done as I can keep a bit more of a clear head, but gosh what a minefield and a pile to get through!
Just wish he would come back from France where he is lying low, to sort it all out. Is this 'desertion' too, as well as adultary?!
BTW I am her sis!

Sorry boo, just assumed you were a brother for some reason - don't know why!

I wouldn't count on too much help from him tho. Your sister is entitled to a free half hour session with a solicitor, when she feels up to it. They might be able to put things in some kind of order for you both