thinking about divorce - in a bad place right now

Hi everyone

I wanted to introduce myself and see what advise i cano get for my situation.

I have been with my husband for 7 years, married for 6 months when he left. we have one son who is 6 who lives with me. My husband had an incident happen in his childhood which has left him mentally and emotionally scarred. He was abused when he was 12 for 2 years and he finally got the courage to tell the the police and a week before our wedding he went to court and he was convicted and jailed for 5 years. My husband went for councilling and this has led to the breakdown of who he is, how he feels and very depressed. He decided to move out in March and went into a shared house to get some space and figure out who he was. i supported him all the way, ensured he saw his son and very a tower of strength to him. it is now 6 months later and I cannot see him coming home or us being a family again. he has now moved into a flat and he has our son all weekend for once a fortnight.
Now I have been told he is registered on a dating website and I have found him on it. I am devastated as I do not know who he is anymore. I stood by him, put my life on hold while he decided what to do. I have also uncovered that over a year ago he has been registered on another website which I do not want to disclose. My trust has completely gone and i feel a fool. I am considering divorce so I can get closure and move on as I do not know what else to do.

Hallo and welcome to Wikivorce

I am sorry you are in a difficult situation, but it seems your marriage has broken down irretrievably.

Don't feel a fool or fret about putting your life on hold. At the time you did what you thought was best for your family. There's nothing to regret in that.

But now you must look to the future. You will find help and support here.

You might find counselling helps you to work out what you want too.

You can post any queries on the forums or pop into chatroom for instant support.

Nell

Hi NF

I just want to say that recovering from CSA does take a long journey of self-discovery and that it is possible that 6 months hasnt been nearly enough. Registering on a dating site is possibly a sign he was looking for someone to be with that didnt know about the abuse, that he could be 'his old self' or be 'unlabaled' with. This would not make it easier for you to deal with but if you can forgive him in time he may forgive himself also and there may be a time that things can work out.

I work with people in your partners position and life rarely takes an understandable path - as you will know - after remembering, disclosing, or confronting the abuse.

I'm not sure if you were looking for anything like this so I'm sorry if that kind of hope is misplaced or unhelpful.

Lots of hope and best wishes coming to you x