New to this. Hi all.

Hi there, just introducing myself.
I did my own divorce and am at the stage of completing the 'absolute', although, I left it for a year, and now don't know where to start with it. Couldn't afford solicitor as I work and just about afford to live. Anyone know what this form should look like when filled out?

If you need any advice on doing the divorce yourself, I can help. I got it through and processed quickly, and had Nisi in 6 weeks of submitting my petition. Though, I didn't take a penny from my ex, I left him with the family home and I'm not asking for anything, including maintenance, so it was simple for me in that respect - in terms of financial arrangements.

My ex and I have struggled with childrens' contact arrangements though, but tried various things over the past 2 1/2 years. I can happily comment on my experiences if it helps anyone. But, after my ex was recently arrested for assaulting me (and charged; I didn't report him!) I am now being advised to go via the family courts to sort out contact. I'm not sure if I need to, although we'll see how my ex responds to the latest proposal, which is very different to what we've done so far. My ex is pretty nasty to me right now. Well always is when he doesn't get everything his way. I'll be applying for the contact order myself too,if I have to, as I can't afford solicitor. But, I've helped out my brothers, and we did a contact order for my partner's kids too, so have had dealing with CAFCASS, etc. so know what to do here too. But, happy to comment on it, if it helps anyone else. It might be a different thing for me, who knows.

Anyway, hi everyone, I hope I can be of some help , as well as maybe getting some advice myself, during this rather unpleasant process of separation and divorce.
E,x

hi ee,

applying for the absolute is very straightforward .. you just need the form, £40 and a covering letter confirming that you have not lived together or had children together post nisi. It is a D36. They are on the wiki site I think or use this link www.hmcourts-service.gov.uk/infoabout/divorce/nisi/form.htm

What is more complicated - and potentially expensive - is sorting out the finances AKA ancillary relief. Have you done that yet?

Hadenoughnow

Thanks for the information. I'll look on the site. I have the form tho, sent via court (I didn't pay anything for it), but it's odd looking, not sure what to write on it. Sorry I wasn't clear on that.

My exH has recently become very aggressive and so I am about to do things differently. I'm now considering putting a charging order on what was our family home, although it was always in my exH's name. It was our family home from year 2000 until Jan 2007. I can't really afford any fees, as I just about afford to live. I just don't have a pot of cash. Last solicitor I spoke to charged me £180 for nothing and told me to do anything, I needed to give £500 up front. I just can't do it. I guess I have to do something tho.

Thanks
E

ee

You can (and should) register matrimonial home rights with the land registry.

TBH if the finances are not yet sorted, it is probably not a good idea to get the absolute yet. (the fee is the court fee you have to send in with the form: the form is free).

You can self rep the ancillary relief proceedings .. wiki will help you. Go and have a good root round the wiki library for information and come back and ask as many questions as you need.

You said

Though, I didn't take a penny from my ex, I left him with the family home and I'm not asking for anything, including maintenance, so it was simple for me in that respect - in terms of financial arrangements.

You also say:

I just about afford to live.

The thing is you are entitled to better than that. Divorce does mean a big change in lifestyle but you should not be struggling this much. Even if you cannot take anything from the house now, you can certainly have a Mesher Order and have your share later ..

Look at www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Divorce-Financ...to-calculate-a-fair- financial-settlement.html

This sets out what is considered when assets are divided on divorce.

You can use the on site Divorce Calculator for guidance or if you want wikipeeps to give you a view, you need to provide the following information:

Ages
Length of marriage + pre marriage cohab
Children - ages, genders and arrangements for them (nights with each parent)
Incomes (inc Tax credits etc if applicable)
FMH Value and outstanding mortgage + size of FMH
Value of other assets in sole of joint names - savings, shares, endowments
Pensions - CETVS
Liabilities in sole or joint names - loans, debts etc

Hadenoughnow

Thanks for your advice. I've done most things alone, as I've no family. But, now I do feel the need for some advice and I want to do things properly. There are two reasons I left my exH with all the material goods, one is he said he'd commit suicide if I involved a solicitor (knowing I could end up with a %); he'd bought the house (no morgage) years before we met, but refused to move with me to a new home, which I could end up joint owner of (I was happy for him to keep his capital) and we extended it and modernised it - he never wanted me on the morgage or deeds tho, said I didn't deserve it, two, his age and he has various illnesses (diabetes, cleep apnea, and he's getting more things wrong in time) - so I thought I can start again, but he can't really. Also, the kids mattered to me, not the money. I'm getting by. It's complicated. But, I am now going to research the financial aspects, and consider the charging order, or you say, Mesher order. I tried to work it out a while back, but couldn't.
Thanks for your advice. It's nice to have some at last.